Some background, I’ve been terrified to admit to myself that I’ve always been so kinky, and so open to dating and playing with others. And now, at the busiest time of my life, I feels as thought I’m going to explode if I don’t find a way to work this into my life without it wreaking everything. I don’t know where to start, and I’m coming to the people I feel I’d appreciate hearing from the most (anyone in the kink community).

I’m a 21 year old 6 foot average looking male. I’m in average shape and I don’t really lead anyone to think of me otherwise. I’ve always been so terrified to jump into the dating scene, as I can never see myself as being “attractive” to another person. Only recently have I finally felt as though I need to get past that and just finally put myself out there.

I’ve tried fetlife, but it is so difficult to navigate. I can’t tell what events I’m supposed to be going to, and what events are just fake or unsafe orgys. Dating apps don’t really work either. I’m too afraid to translate my kinky side while also having to be rejected by hundreds of girls each day.

The local scene where I live is very connected too. I’m always terrified of running into my friends while I’m out trying to be sexy for another person. I wanna be sexy.

But I have so many desires I want to have as a kink Ayer. I want to be confident enough to go to sex shops and buy whatever toys or sexy latex/leather/sissy clothing I want. I want to be able to talk to someone I find attractive without tripping over my own fears. I wanna get kinky with anyone and everyone who will enjoy. I want to show myself off online as the kinky freak I know I am. But I feel so trapped and confused, I don’t know where to go.

I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. Has anyone felt where I’m coming from? And I one in a million and I need to get over it? What do I do?