I had an interest in feminization and crossdressing since I was young, but never really explored it. I had no idea about the sexual side of things until much later. When I finally started to explore it, the first thing I found were crossdressing fanfics, then videos, then, eventually, when I was older, porn.

At first I was disgusted by it, but as things go, I grew to like it. However, being porn, it painted a very different picture from reality. Pretty much all of the porn I saw portrayed a cruel, 24/7 D/s relationship, where the submissive had no personality of their own besides their submission, and their submission was the only thing the Domme valued in them. I saw Dommes as people who hated men entirely and would only give them any attention if they gave up everything to serve them. I had no idea there was any other option for a femdom relationship.

Eventually I created a Twitter account. Mistake number 1. I looked up "sissy" and "feminization" in the search bar, and followed pretty much every account I saw. Which means, I followed a LOT of scammers. A LOT. And these scammers acted exactly like what I saw in porn. They would message me, being mean and degrading right off the bat. And it felt really good to get attention from someone who I thought was into the same stuff I was. I would constantly be retweeting that "RETWEET IF YOU WANT A 12 INCH DILDO SHOVED INSIDE YOU FOREVER" type stuff, and with each retweet, a new person would message me, and keep making me feel good for getting their attention.

I never gave money, photos, or identifying information to any of these scammers, so at least I was good there. I didn't even realize they were scammers at the time, I just kinda wasn't ready for a 24/7 permanent slave life, so I never told them anything.

Eventually, I would delete my account, and do it all over, again and again.

I did the same thing on reddit. Not on this account, a different one. However, this time, I messaged people on my own instead of them messaging me. Real people, not scammers. Still assuming they wanted immediate and total submission right off the gate, and would not care about my personality, I would always say stuff like "Hello Mistress, I would like to be your slave" and shit like that. Really cringey stuff that got me blocked by a lot of people.

But eventually, I somehow found the r/gentlefemdom community, and that changed my perspective on everything. I realized that femdom relationships didn't have to be mean, cruel, 24/7 things where you have to give up every aspect of your life and have absolutely no limits. And also, I was much more into the gentle stuff than I was with all the stuff I saw in porn.

So, I deleted that account, and started this one with a much more realistic perspective. And I even eventually found a Domme who I love with all my heart.

My point is that a lot of these people who message Dommes with stuff like that, aren't exactly looking for a kink dispenser. It's just that they think that showing anything but total submission at all times would be a turn off for Dommes, so they shed any semblance of confidence or personality, in hopes that it will impress someone, even though that's the exact opposite of what happens.

I'm very glad I grew past that phase, and I'm sure that many others will in time.