I'm pretty new to the femdom dynamic, I've just recently found a sub who I like a lot, and now I want to do whatever I can to make this work. I know for sure I'm not submissive, I absolutely hate having someone tell me what to do and try to take control, especially in the bedroom. I'm more neutral than dominant, I believe, but this is definitely something I'm interested in pursuing.

I do have some concerns, tho. First of all, I'm very insecure about my body and my personality, and I find myself cringing when I try to dirty talk or speak to someone in a stern/dominating manner, it just feels fake and awkward. Is this likely a skill issue or just nerves? If this is a common thing, does it tend to go away quickly? I think it might be because I hate my voice and tend to stutter a bit when put on the spot.

Another thing I find problematic is my likes and dislikes. I don't like receiving any kind of oral, I hate riding, I don't care for chastity, I love being the one to please a partner, I like body worship (but I prefer giving to receiving), I don't really like making out, I can't degrade someone I genuinely like, and I don't like withholding sex or stuff like blowjobs from a sub because it negatively affects me. It doesn't help that my sub doesn't like pegging, which is the one way I would love to dominate a partner. I feel like all this cuts out all my options. I have no idea how I can dominate someone without all that. I like the idea of collaring him and such, but I'm not sure what I would do after that? I've thought about having him fuck me while collared, but I'm worried that might be too submissive? I know it's about the mindset, not the act, but maybe he won't feel the same?

I'm not totally sure what my question is, but if anyone has some advice or recommendations, it would be really appreciated. I know communication is very important, and we've discussed it quite a bit, but I think most of the fun for him is having me make the decisions while respecting his boundaries (duh), but I have no idea what to do. I've asked him what he wants, he's told me some stuff, nothing that really helps tho, he just really wants me to take control. I hate calling myself a domme because I feel like an impostor or something.