So! I have had the lovely opportunity the past few months to begin exploring my submissive side with a woman who is just an absolute delight. She has been guiding me, teaching me, and helping me through this exploration of a part of myself I didn't know I had in such a wonderful way, and I'm very excited to be learning new things about myself with her help and guidance.

This evening there was a brief moment where, unexpectedly, she issued a command and I obeyed and we ended up discussing how it made me feel in the moment and I described the moment as "heady." She wanted me to expand on that, and gave me a short task to write out my thoughts and feelings regarding what happened.

I sent her what I wrote and she enjoyed it enough that she instructed me to share it somewhere online! I am only too happy to do so, and would love to hear about anyone else's experience (from either the D or the s side of a dynamic) about when they were first getting into submission or dominance, and what their headspace felt like.

My thoughts/write up were as follows:

It’s just a short sentence and I wouldn’t think it would have such sway over me. But it’s in the casual, almost playful way you word it. It’s in the easy expectation of obedience that you have. The way you say it with, not even an expectation that I’ll happily follow your command, but the unwavering belief that your wishes will be fulfilled.

It’s… it makes me feel important. Valued. It makes me feel like, for that smidgeon of a moment, you’ve given me your attention, like all of your attention is on me. In that attention is this feeling that you have prior examples of me being obedient to rely on and that I’ve pleased you before and you know I’ll please you again. I enjoy being reliable, something you depend on to follow where you lead. I feel like, in those casual moments of dominance, there’s this beautiful dynamic between us where you lead because it’s who you are, and I follow because it’s who I am, and we just click in a way that feels natural.

It's also so lovely to just.. not have to be in control. To give up the part of me that needs to make a decision and just take a back seat. You say “slap your face” and I say “ok” because you said I should and I don’t need any other reason. If your reason is because I deserve it or need it, I trust you to have a good reason why. And if your reason is just because you can and you enjoy it, then that’s also a perfectly valid reason because it gives me this opportunity to be good. And really, that’s what it is. I want to be good. I enjoy being good. I hope literally any of this makes sense, because I feel like I’ve rambled in circles without ever really touching on the core, not because I don’t want to but because it feels hard to nail down the ephemeral things I am experiencing.