As a new Domme I wish I knew that it wasn’t my job to preform and entertain. I wish I had been told that Femdom means different things to different people but the focus should be on Female pleasure and empowerment. And every Domme has a different take on what that looks like.

I felt obligated to constantly task and maintain an exciting orgasm regiment for my sub. I felt burnt out each week just trying to balance denial and pleasure and their needs without really figuring out how my needs and wants fit into that dynamic.

I wish I had known more about aftercare in general and drops. Having a toolbox of ideas Vs aimlessly grasping for some when things got tough.

I wish someone had explained that ghosting is shitty but not always personal. Sometimes we need clean breaks when we’re dealing with intense emotions. Not an excuse but you can’t expect every human being to be rational all the time. You can’t control other people’s behaviors.

And I wish someone had taught me about focusing on the “why” behind a kink. Chastity was baffling to me as a new Domme - you mean you’d rather lock your cock up than use it with me? (Sensual and soft Domme when I started 😆) But understanding the why and what drives someone makes kinks enjoyable in new ways and it helps you to understand your partners motivation more than “I don’t know it just turns me on”

I feel like I could go on and on but I’m looking forward to the feedback from others too 🖤