Hello everyone!

As I still frequently see posts asking women "how do I find a dominant woman" or "how can I get my GF/wife to dominate me", here are some tips to increase your chances. These are meant to improve your own behaviour, which is most likely the reason you don't find a fitting partner. Even if you don't think it's you, I can guarantee that 95/100 times it's the male submissive. So try to be honest with yourself, reflect and improve.

!DISCLAIMER! : This obviously doesn't mean that it's a guarantee you'll find someone. Stuff like this involves also being at the right place at the right time, so be patient.

Looking for a dominant woman:

1. As long as you're not paying a pro Domme, it's ALWAYS relationship first - kink second. If you're not interested in the other PERSON, she will not be interested in you. Simple as that.
2. Remember that at this point you haven't entered any form of play or relationship and you're two individuals on the same level. Be polite and respectful. This doesn't mean to start a conversation with "Hello Mistress...", as this would indicate that her being your Mistress is the focus of this conversation, which it obviously shouldn't be (also, honorifics usually have to be earned).
   What I actually mean is to watch your language, your capitalization, how you express yourself etc.
   There's a high chance you underestimate how much of a difference it makes if the first impression you make is one of a guy who can't spell the majority of his sentence correctly and doesn't use punctuation. Make sure to proofread your initial approach multiple times to leave a good impression. And at this point I make sure to tell you that english is not my native language and you can keep the mistakes you find LOL
3. Know what you're getting yourself into and more importantly what you expect out of this relationship and what your limits are. Most subs just think about the "hot" stuff like getting put in chastity, but rarely ever think even a single step past that, like if she'll have more subs than just you, if her kinks allign with your limits and vice versa and if she's looking for a relationship or just a play-partner. Being honest and upfront with these is very important, as they can reveal incompatibilites between both parties very early on.
   A big mistake subs often make is that they initiate this question 3 minutes after meeting someone and a couple of small talk questions. I would highly suggest to let her be the one initiating the topics of kink and limits and simply answer her and ask for her kinks and limits to get a conversation going.
   Pro tip: If she initiates any kind of play before discussing your limits, that's your cue to ask about them. I would generally advise against playing without discussing these topics, as either the Dom or sub might be disappointed at the end of it.
4. Don't be pushy. Things will evolve naturally. Don't spam her if she doesn't answer within minutes. People have lives.
   Try to think of more interesting topics for discussion instead of trying to find the right timing to ask "when will you dominate me?".
   Tell her about your hobbies and ask about hers. Try to build a balanced conversation. From my experience many subs EITHER get all into the Dommes face by asking one (sexual) question after another (which is not only a major turnoff but will also plummet your chances to receive an answer to close to zero), OR they turn to the other extreme and answer in very short sentences, without asking questions themselves. Use your social skills of what question is appropriate at any given time and try to have a normal conversation. Get to know the person you're texting with, and let discussions flow.
5. Apply the tips above to your how you present yourself if you're the one making a post in a subreddit like /r/femdompersonals. It's fine to mention what you expect out of the relationship and your limits, but it's far more important to 1) be somewhat special and distinguish yourself from the other people who post and 2) present YOURSELF, not your kink-self-you-still-want-to-explore. What are your hobbies, what do you like doing in your free time etc.

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If you found these tips helpful and want me to write one specificaly focused on men already in a relationship (the classic "how do I get my wife to dominate me/ how do I get a FLR"), let me know and I will do a similar writeup!

Additional question to the Dommes here: What did I miss? What is particularly important to you? Please feel free to complement my list and speak out if you disagree with a point I've made.