I’m 21 m and feel like I’m having an identity crisis. Please help.

I’m just starting to explore the whole dominant submissive thing and I often catch myself thinking about losing all control and power and submitting myself to my s/o. My problems I’m facing is, A: this is an internal problem I debate in my head and don’t know how to talk about it or express myself. B: I’m afraid I won’t be able to get out of my own way and I’m very vocal and don’t know when to shut up, I want to be punished and be able to fully let go but I don’t know how I would react as we both kind of have an alpha power struggle. I don’t know if or how to comfortably give all my vulnerability and trust to someone and not fight it. I know that I’m really into pleasing the other person and fulfilling there wishes and desires if that means anything. Any help or suggestions would be great.