Yeah, over a year... It is kinda crazy. I'm Matilde and I'm certainly not new to denial or any even remotely adjacent segments of the bdsm landscape... I've been fascinated with the idea of giving up a certain degree of control since forever. But this last run, feels a bit different.

You see, most if not all of my previous shenanigans were primarily in relationships... I've endured copious amounts of teasing, promoted nipple and clit clamps as my at home leisure outfit, worked out with weights hanging from my nipples, battled the endless siege of vibrators and a bunch of other similarly rigorous fun. Importantly though all along I had someone to hold my hand, or at least to hold me down on that vibrator just a little bit more or administer just one more whiplash...

Now however I am very single, and thus this "run" of rigorous and at times utterly devastating fun is fully self-enforced. Which either makes me an incredibly disciplined woman, or a hopelessly huge slut... Or maybe a bit of both. Regardless I'm strangely proud of myself. Which leads me to the main thought of this post...

I feel really fucking strong and powerful... Which is probably not how you'd imagine a woman who's writing a post about her sexuality and denial whilst wearing a set of nipple and clit clamps connected by chains that were definitely not manufactured for women over 180cm tugging on all her ladybits to feel.

And yet I fucking do, I chose to wear this contraption as my leisure outfit out of my own volition, just as I keep myself denied. That's not to say that I do not ever get a date to administer this - I must say - not entirely feministic treatment, I like so much. I do date, I do attend some themed events as well. Like for instance a wonderful friend of mine took me as his date to this renaissance ball of sorts. Lot of dancing, talking, fancy drinks and of course us ladies wearing nothing but a mask. Not that the mask matters, after 15 minutes of being butt naked amongst people it was very easy to spot the denied woman with the abs and de glistening cunt. So, yeah there's that...

but the point is that I feel fulfilled, and I'm doing all this for my own enjoyment, I don't feel inferior just because I usually don't wear clothes at home or because at first sign of anything remotely teasing my puss betrays my "playing it cool" persona and starts dripping like a broken faucet. Either way this constant battle with myself and the rest of the world, overcoming all that every day makes me feel really good about myself.

Anyways, I'm just rambling by now so I'll finish and get back to suffering my denial in maddening silence.

Just to close up, allow me to leave a semi-public, yet anonymous 'Thank you!' to those very enthusiastic friends of mine who love to remind me that I should feel uncomfortable, maybe even a bit in pain, but definitely frustrated and dripping. Thank you for all the very respectful disrespect! :D