Hey Gentle and Not-so-Gentlemen,

Thank you for clinking on my rambling about edging and denial... and to be fair submission in general to a degree at least.

My name is Matilde, although I tend to listen to less appropriate nicknames as well. I'm 38 years old and I have been obsessed with the idea of what I call "sexual misogyny". It really just means that whilst I'm very much so a driven woman, I tend to enjoy a more submissive role in the context of sexuality.

I like to think of my femininity and sexuality as a sort of layer on top of everything else that makes me. And very importantly so a layer that I'm supposed to express and enjoy, and well, let others enjoy. Even now, that I'm single, I still self-impose rules on myself in order to keep me excited, sexy and just overall sexually submissive every single day. Importantly though, I arguably have a little different mental approach to these things. You see, while all of these rules and ideas make me feel exposed, sexualized, submissive and maybe even a little humiliated at times, that in my mind never equals with being weak or helpless. In fact be that idea of not wearing clothes at home or in case of this post keeping myself edged and denied completely while single, or anything else really. What I feel above all else is excitement and a sense of fulfilment and confidence.

In short being denied, sexualized and exposed makes me feel confident and powerful. That's not to say that there isn't a tingling sensation of humiliation or the like, but above all else I'm just so fucking happy.

In fact, at this point probably losing denial and actually being forced to orgasm would be the actual punishment, not keeping me like this for another month/year or however long.

As to the question of why, sitting at my desk naked, slowly dripping onto towel whilst writing a reddit post makes me feel confident and powerful... To be honest I haven't really solved that as of just yet, not like I didn't have over a year to do it. But just to satisfy your curiosity I think in part it is because of the discipline it gives me. And on top of that it makes me feel... Fuck I'm gonna sound super unfeminst here... It makes me feel useful, fulfilled, satisfied that I'm indeed exploring and using my sexuality, as I should be.

This mentality is also why I'm not exactly the best submissive for most people. I'm way too confident, self-assured, and just overall capable and independent for most.

Well, thank you for reading... I really just wanted to share a perspective on denial and submission that is perhaps a little different from the mainline.