I just want to say, as a somewhat shy submissive leaning butch lesbian who's struggled majorly with allowing themself to feel desire/crave vulnerability in the past, I feel like denial has helped so much

After barely 7 days, with no clear ideas on when exactly I want to cum, I feel like a lot of my inhibitions have melted away into a more consistent desire even a more settled acceptance of what I actually want from future sexual relationships. For so long I've felt penned in by women who want us butches to be these sexually dominant masters, and that resulted in me shying away from sex and sexuality in general because I was so frustrated that I couldn't reliability fit or even want to fit that role for people.

That kind of blended with a host of other issues in my last relationship that led to our breaking up, and while I don't regret that breakup I do regret not being more outspoken about what I want and need (mostly because I was new to relationships after avoiding them til I moved out of my parents house and didn't even know what I wanted or needed).

All that to say: wowzers denial has really brought out my unashamed butch boytoy tendencies 😂 and I love being a horny slut and daydreaming about dykes using the shit out of me to get themselves off. I don't know if long-term denial will end up being for me (a partner controlling my orgasms definitely is though) but I'm training up for locktober (bought a chastity belt I've been too lazy to sit down and fit to myself) and then no nut November so we'll see how this goes