and honestly? i'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

let me catch you up to speed on what ive been up to: 103 day record of denial. broke it. two week break where i let myself come as much as i wanted to. last orgasm was one week ago today, last sunday.

cool! you're all caught up now. so, i started a fresh stint of denial to get back into it. just one week, nothing to strenuous. there's been a very strict, very hot dom keeping me on track this week. there maybe might have been an accidental ruin that i slept through.

but... i haven't been allowed to touch my clit at all for the week. and that hasn't been the obstacle i thought it would be! i've still been able to tease my tight little hole and coax it into a slippery mess - sometimes with a lush vibe, sometimes watching, reading, or listening to filthy things, sometimes just talking with other people. it's been incredible, and i had no idea that i could get that wet without involving my clit. i don't mean slightly wet, or even a respectable amount of wet you can slip a finger in with - i mean, change the bedsheets, make wet noises just walking around, dripping down my thighs and ass kind of wet. god, it feels fucking incredible. i didn't miss my clit that much.

and honestly? my clit just doesn't feel the same. all my attention and pleasure seems to have focused further down and deeper in. i think it's because ive been trying to retrain my... train of thinking? base impulse? to focus not on my own pleasure, but on any man who might like to bend me over and use my wet cunt for his own pleasure. the wetter i am, the more he enjoys it, right? and i think we've all established how fucking wet i've been getting this week.

so... my clit feels less sensitive. a little less sensual. it still works... but teasing my hole now feels better than teasing my clit. and i can't say i hate it either 💞