Before I started my orgasm control journey, I used to touch every day, multiple times a day. I orgasmed at least once a day, sometimes two. So I decided to invest in a Lush remote vibe. It's amazing and heightened my orgasms. But my need to touch and orgasm was taking over my life. I would be late for work, I would skip meeting with friends just to keep touching, started watching more rougher and degrading porn.

21 days ago, I told myself I would deny myself orgasms and maybe that would help me get control back of my life. The first few days were really tough because I wanted to touch and orgasm constantly. But after day 5, it started getting easier, as long as I didn't see anything that made me horny. But after two weeks, I started really missing the need to have good edging sessions, felt empty and bored tbh.

Fast forward to today where I pulled out my Lush and I told myself I'd only use it for 10 mins max, and put it back. 30 mins later, I was so on the edge but really wanting to stop so I could keep denying myself. But then I went on Lovense random mode where I got matched up with random guys and before I knew it, I had no control over my pussy. Even though I told the guys that I was trying to deny myself and begged them to turn it down when I got close, they didn't listen. I finally orgasmed and I feel like such a failure after denying myself for 21 days :(

I'm sorry everyone for failing. Please make me feel bad, send punishments, insults and mean things because this is what I deserve for not being a good orgasm denial doll (chat preferred). Or maybe you'll encourage me to let my edging and orgasms ruin my life.