hii!~ its been so long since i made a long post, sorry if its not written the best ^{^} june 22nd i started my goal of no orgasms for a whole year. if you want to know about the last time i was denied, read the next paragraph and if not just skip c:

the last time was about a 5 month period and i had to count every one of my edges for mommy, and i wanna say that i ended up in the 4000s~? the original plan was that i wasnt allowed to cum, only ruins, until i hit 10,000, no matter how long it took me; but she gave in and let me since i was good <3 by the end i had learned how to have a nipple ruin, a cunny ruin (i was rubbing the entrance, not going in, thats cheating!) and an anal ruin, again just by rubbing.. i really really want to get to that point again and i think the only way to is denial.

so i decided that i was going to go a year with no orgasms <3 im already more pent up than ive been in forever and all i can think about is dirty stuff lately.. i feel all my old habits coming back, like how i always used to grind against my chair or squeeze my legs absent mindedly. looking at porn and scrolling thru reddit in public~ in fact im not even alone as i write this right now. denial brings out my true self and it should be that way, i actually really wish there was a way to physically prevent me from going over the edge because ive ruined too many times x3

another thing denial helps with is everytime i do it i learn the same lesson ; im meant to please others and my body should stay ready to please all the time! <3 and how else other than edging~ serving is my true purpose , its the thing that always makes me truly happy