Hey guys! The other day, I posted asking for a task master… I got some offers, and I’m here to report back with my journey, and intend to do so every Friday from now on. :) As context, for the seven days before the diary begins, I was on no touch enforced by busy life circumstances.

June 17- I edged myself for an hour while my boyfriend fucked my brains out… it felt incredible, I loved knowing that I didn’t have to worry that he was doing things for me because we both knew I wasn’t going to come. If that makes sense, haha. It was so freeing. At one point I asked him why he kept adding more lube and the answer was that he hadn’t 😬 I rarely get wet like that, haha. Days denied: 8

June 18- Woke up at six today to let my boyfriend use me before work! It hurt a bit but I liked knowing that I was making him feel good and he didn’t have to worry about me. My task for the day is to edge three times at least 30min apart, naked on all fours with fingers only. I completed my first edge using my partner’s come as lube; it took a while to get all the way up to the edge, but it was intense by the time I got there. I was trembling, unable to control how my thighs jerked and twitched, and I couldn’t stop fantasizing about whether my partner might like to keep me denied long-term. I’ve been wanting to ask him to keep me denied until I’m able to make him come down my throat. The other two had to be quick on the floor of my bedroom, in between errands and before my boyfriend followed me to bed; I had a really long, boring day full of squirming and wishing someone would touch me. My boyfriend had me edge myself again in bed with my vibrator, holding my thighs apart while I worked myself up. Then he fucked me on my hands and knees and left me humping the sheets, wanting to beg for more. I think he’s starting to enjoy our new game :) I want to be his free-use toy. Days denied: 9

June 19- My first task is to hump my pillow for at least 45min while writing my first structured diary entry, on the topic of what I’m looking forward to with this journey and why I’m doing it. The why is sort of complicated in the way that people always are but also simple in the way that people always are, haha. I’m a victim of CSA and suffered from vaginismus for the first eight years I was sexually active. I’ve always been kinky, but since vanilla sex was already agonizing, my sexuality languished unfulfilled while I fantasized about being someone’s good girl, about being someone’s sub, about someone demanding obedience and service from me and being able to provide it. I was protective of my orgasms because they were hard-won. Then I sorted out the vaginismus as well as some other health problem after nearly two years of being extremely sick and having little sex drive, and now I’m having something of a sexual awakening, haha.

I don’t just crave submission anymore, I need it. I want to be sexually available to my boyfriend at all times, to please him with whatever hole in whatever manner he desires, and I want to do that without him worrying about me being in pain. He takes such good care of me, and I want to return that, be a good fuck toy for him. Sex was stressful for us both for so long, but when I’m denied, it’s easy. The most we ever need is a bit of lube, maybe two or three minutes of foreplay if it’s been a while since my last edge.

I want to be even easier for him. I’m basically a housewife while I complete a graduate program that will be undemanding for at least a year, and I want to spend that year cooking for him, keeping up with the house, and being his whore. Showing him how much I appreciate that he never asked for sex once while I was sick for years. Focusing on his pleasure during sex since he never complained about focusing on mine for the better part of a decade.

I didn’t know I could get this worked up from grinding against a pillow. I haven’t done it since I was a teenager. I don’t want to stop.

After reading the above, I was assigned four more edges in addition to my evening edge.

While I was in bed, grinding against my pillow and writing this, distracted by how badly I wanted to be touched and fantasizing about being kept denied for months, he came in to tell me to pick out anything in the world I’d like to have for dinner and he’d go get it for me :) I’m going to suck his soul out through his cock later tonight if he’ll let me. Denial makes me feel so affectionate and close to him <3 Days denied: 10

June 20- I worked up to my morning edge slow while reading erotica, from about eight to eight-forty, and just went I had become truly desperate, riding the edge of orgasm, I received my task for today: I’m to spend the day in a skirt with no panties, edging every hour at the top of the hour, each edge unique in how I achieve it. I only have fifteen minutes until my next edge and I’m already so needy and dripping wet that all I want to do is crawl under my boyfriend’s desk and suck him until I convince him to fuck me. To keep myself from being bad and touching myself in between edges, I’ll focus on my chores—I’ve recently moved and have plenty to do to keep my hands off of my pussy.

9am- Already so wet that I can hear it when I move, it only took a few minutes to hit the edge. I was done by 9:03. I’d give anything to keep going; instead, I’ll make myself clean and pretty for my boyfriend. This may be a challenge; I’ve yet to unpack a razor.

10am- I was still worked up and didn’t want to edge too fast, so I threw a towel over my pillow and straddled it, rode it while fantasizing about my boyfriend extending my denial another week, and another, and another… I never wanted to stop.

11am- I stopped in the middle of my chores and fingered myself right there in the middle of my bedroom floor, trying not to be too loud while I rode out my edge for probably too long. My pussy kept clenching and begging for a long time after.

12pm- I showed my boyfriend how wet I was for him during his lunch break and he took me to bed, fucked me hard from behind while pinning me by the back of the neck. I was so close to coming by the time he finished that I was whimpering. He asked if I wanted to come, but I told him I’d rather keep being a good girl and got back to work. Even though I really, really did want to come.

1pm- I found out a friend was coming over in a few minutes, so I had to be quick—I knew anal always gets me off faster, so I put in my plug and used my vibrator. I was so wet that I could hear it every time I stroked my clit with my toy, and I hit the edge so fast I was almost disappointed. I was already fantasizing about whether my boyfriend would want me again later tonight. If maybe he’d finally take me up on getting started while I’m still asleep.

2pm- It was made clear to me that having company didn’t mean I was excused. Again, I needed to be fast, so I excused myself to ‘answer a call’ and fucked myself on my dildo, standing up in my closet to muffle the sound, and I was genuinely worried my knees would give out it felt so good. I realized after I came back out that I was wet down to my thighs, but I don’t think anyone noticed.

3pm- I don’t even remember what flimsy excuse I gave. I could barely concentrate on what we were talking about. I put my plug and dildo both in and used my vibrator on my clit, on my hands and knees with my legs spread like an absolute bitch in heat. I wanted to luxuriate in it, to keep edging forever, but I forced myself to stop immediately and be a good girl and a good hostess.

4pm- for the fourth one, I snuck away the first second I could and fucked my poor denied pussy hard with my favorite dildo. I was absolutely aching afterwards, desperate to be fucked long and hard and properly. This was maybe the hardest one to stop. The whole thing lasted 90 seconds from the toy going in to when I pulled it back out.

5pm- My friend headed out and my boyfriend asked to take me to dinner, so I excused myself to ‘touch up my make-up’ and fucked myself in the ass with my dildo while vibrating my abused clit. I got so fucking horny feeling my toy slide in and out that I started talking myself into wearing a plug to dinner with no panties, but I know I always regret that and start to hurt, so I made myself stop and get presentable to go spend time with the love of my life :)

6pm- Edged myself quick on my fingers in the bathroom of a taco spot. I was excited but nervous, so it felt electric but I couldn’t hard edge. Edge 6/10 tacos 9/10

7pm- My boyfriend got me high after dinner. I love it when he’s bossy about dosing me, telling me when to take hits and how many. I was fantasizing about him taking advantage of me, honestly, maybe right there in our backyard, holding me down and fucking me even if I was too fucked up to help him or stop him. Afterwards, we curled up on the couch and I slowly, slowly worked myself up rubbing with just a fingertip, light, teasing strokes that melted me into absolute goo. I was so wet I was genuinely concerned I was going to make a mess, but luckily my skirt is thick enough to absorb some moisture.

8pm- completed while grinding against a pillow with my dildo inside, writing my journal entry and expanding upon my notes from throughout the day. I don’t want to stop, but I will. I’m going to go back to my boyfriend in the sluttiest shorts and tank top combo I can muster and press up against him and hope he uses me however he wants for his pleasure… Even if that’s just me aching for him with my neglected cunt pressed against his thigh while we watch more of the seemingly endless One Piece anime. Days denied: 11

June 21- My task today was to wear my favorite dildo and plug all day and edge eight times, letting my body cool down in between. My main chore was unpacking and setting up my boyfriend’s office space, the last part of the house we’ve yet to tackle. I had never left a dildo inside while I was walking around and doing things—it was more intense than I expected, teasing and torturing me with every shift, every step; it made me really excited to get the g-squeeze I have coming in the mail, had me fantasizing about having my pussy stuffed under a chastity belt every time I leave the house or being made to sleep with my dildo inside me. Even as I write this at the end of the day, I’m in bed thrusting my hips against my pillow to shift it against my g-spot, clenching on the plug like a whore. I keep thinking how hot it would be if my boyfriend said I can come all I want on Sunday, then bound my hands behind my back and fucked my ass, leaving me still denied.

All of my edges hit me hard today. I did most of them sitting in his office chair, celebrating yet another box unpacked and organized, bouncing on the dildo and plug while I tortured my clit with a vibrator until I couldn’t stand it anymore; but I did two of them grinding against the edge of his desk, imagining him fucking me over it, laying me out on it to go down on me, letting me suck him off under it while he worked… I was feeling so foggy, so subby, especially because the dildo wouldn’t let me sit down without pain, so as I worked sorting things on the floor, I had to be on my knees the whole time, where I belong.

I did my last edge in bed, rode it for a long time, until my wetness had leaked down around my plug and gotten the seat of my panties and pajamas soaked. Now I have to be a good girl and go to no touch for the rest of the day unless my boyfriend wants to use me. Days denied: 12

I’m allowed to come on Sundays, so I was hoping that between now and then, you guys would tell me what you thought about my diary, check in and make sure I’m being good, ask me humiliating questions, tell me what you’d do with me if I was yours (or if I wasn’t, but you found me this worked up and helpless…), maybe shoot me some erotica or tell me I’m being a good girl :)