Fucking myself with a dildo after edging and accidentally ruining at least three times, it feels so good. It seems obvious to me that my holes are made for the pleasure of others. Any pleasure I get is incidental and only matters to reinforce my conditioning. It's criminal I can't serve anyone RN and have to settle for practicing with a toy.

Sometimes I worry, because I know that edging can change your brain, I know I'm reconditioning myself. I know I'm implicit in my own brainwashing. How do I know I was into this before the denial? Maybe that idea was planted in my head and I can't remember.

Either way, submitting and not cumming just feels so good. For a while there I was rubbing and could not orgasm, I just stayed right on the edge without tipping over. It was incredible. Anyone want to make it worse? I prefer comments over dms.