My desire feels so much more electric today, so immediate. I almost feel sick with it.

Today I took a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood with no panties, kegel weights in my cunt. I'm so fucking horny I almost wrote "useless" cunt. I feel like I need to keep egging on my arousal.

Begged incessantly for edges. Got about two, one on my dildo, thank you, Sir. Been riding my dildo as much as I can, but it's like strapped to a towel so it'll stick straight up and the temptation to just grind on the towel till I come is very strong. Need to be careful. I got something to strap the dildo to the rolled up towel, I call it my "silly little slut contraption." Doesn't make the need any better.

I'm so subby lately I immediately stuck my tongue out once I was allowed to ride my dildo and drooled on the bed. NEVER done that before. It was a NEED, I couldn't help it.

Almost had a ruin on the dildo which is more than I deserve, managed to get off of it in time. Got some stretches in. A good slut is a flexible slut and I am lacking in that regard. Sending pictures of my cunt to my Dom is second nature at this point, he doesn't even have to ask. I feel like I'm losing braincells.

I hate this. I can't think. If I could only come I'd be OK, I'd be less of a slut, I know it. I wouldn't be so disgusting. But it only feels right when I have permission. I wish I didn't need it so bad. I wish I were normal. I need to suck cock so badly.