My Dom has this fantasy I can't stop thinking about, in which he edges and brainwashes me into believing orgasms are actually painful. Until I beg him to keep me from cumming.

It's this I think about as I hook one knee over the edge of tub, spread my labia and vibrate my clit with a toy. Too late, I remember the window is open to prevent mirror fog. I manage to keep somewhat silent, but the outside noise makes it all feel so... immediate. I wonder when I'll lose all sense and not even care whether my neighbors can hear me in my desperate state.

Some comments I sent my Dom around 2am 03/06 after edging: "Fuck I'm a disgusting fucking slut I need to cum but I don't want to. I know usually my cunt controls me but I'm gonna try to be stronger."

On the fourth day, after the post I made here, I did end up having an edging session. I went for over fifteen minutes, alternating between fucking my cunt hard with a dildo, and rubbing my clit. I'm sorry to say if I'd only rubbed I definitely would have cum. Maybe in the future I'll have more self control. At one point I actually got close to crying.

I hope one day to actually cry. From desperation, frustration, hopelessness.