Typing this with my tongue out. I asked my online Dom Saturday night to please not let me come till my boyfriend visits later this week. He's been edging me since. A few nights he wasn't available to I edged myself. I edged on my own 12 times last night after he had me pick a number between 1 and 30, I think. It's getting harder to think. I suggested to him today that I go get the mail (a few mins walk) with kegel weights in, and no shirt (under a coat because it's cold). He added "no underwear". I haven't had anything in me since last week I think. I'm not sure. I wanted to hump something outside, I was so horny. When I got back I edged five times with a vibrator. I'm so glad I'm home alone atm because I made so much noise that I wasn't expecting. I felt so subby and like I just wanted to serve, to suck and lick and have my holes filled... it scared me. He wants me to look at porn as much as I can today, and for the rest of the day I won't be alone so I can't touch. At some point I'll take the weights out and I'll feel so empty. He offered me ruins last night and I refused, I'm so worried I'll spoil myself. Ruins feel too good, it must be cheating. I hope my boyfriend visits soon.