A little background: I am a 46F submissive, single and unattached. I have previously been working towards being just a cock sleeve/warmer with no more edges even (by my own choice), but you could say that all came crashing down.

After almost 8 months of denial, first with edges and then without even that, I broke down and came.

I was feeling tired and lonely and just lost, so I just gave up on all of it. No, it didn’t feel good. It didn’t make me feel amazing and give me that high. I felt even worse after it happened. Not only wasn’t it physically satisfying, but I wasted months of time and effort and for what? Nothing.

I’m frustrated. I’m lonely. I miss having the deep down in my soul connection with someone. I’m disappointed in myself for throwing away all that time and effort. I don’t know if I want to try again - I don’t know that I should stay untethered. That’s what denial gave me, at least some sense of tethering. Some restriction when I had no one to give me more structure.

So, what say you my fellow redditors? Any sage advice or suggestions?

Thanks in advance