Hey there!

I posted this a while ago in BDSMCommunity and recieved a few great replies and have been in contact with contributors via PM. However, I thought I would share it with this community too to get yourinput!

Hello all,

I have been playing on-line and off-line with others for many years, but something that always seems a struggle for my partners is branching out into non-sexual areas of kink, with different 'behaviours', rules, or restrictions that apply to everyday life.

I enjoy these forms of control. However, in my experience Dominants often want regular reporting as a part of exercising their control (Email me each morning and I will tell you what to wear, Message me when you masturbate, etc. etc. etc.). However, this is not a desirable arrangement for me.

I enjoy instead the idea of set behaviours, rules, and restrictions which are self-policing - That I can complete without direct input from a dominant.

I have recently been trying to come up with a few items that are not sexual, or at least, not primarilly.

If you take a look at my post histor yyou will probably see that I am quite into a variety of self-destructive kinks. I was brainstorming a few ideas in my head for activities, routines, habits, and the like that would degrade my own 'quality of life'.

These ideas are probably a little masochistic to attempt all-day-everyday. I have the idea of maybe the community/master/myself selects a number at random each week?

A couple I came up with are:

Before reading a book, watching a TV series, or film or similar (Videogame etc) the submissive is to look up the plot on Wikipedia or a similar site. The submissive should also check out the first few search results for 'XYZ Spoilers' The Submissive should watch television muted wherever possible, with or without subtitles. Messing with meals: Ideas such as letting food cool, blending a meal into a smoothie, or adding ingredients that will cause discomfort (Hot spices, sand, mud, water, alcohol) Forced up-take of a habit - Regular drinking, smoking etc Sleep Deprivation - This would be a killer for me Banning spell-check of any form. *Setting computer language/keyboard to a different setting/layout I have plenty of others on my mind, but I would love to see what ideas come to the community's mind on this one.

Strange rituals, behaviours, etc are all welcome!

Update 06/03/2017:

Wow, reading through these has made me... well... I am shaking with nerves and excitement and my legs are squivering and it has given me a rather warm sensation in my loins. Thank you to all who have contributed here and by PM so far!

Here are all of the suggestions so far! Categorised as requested. I'm going to have to try and do these in stages, somehow.... Each time I complete one, I will post underneath it individually!

Clothing:

• How about making your everyday clothes uncomfortable? Something like keeping ball bearings or tacks in the heels of your shoes so you have to stand on your toes.
• Put tacks or sandpaper in your bra cups and panties.
• Buy clothes that are uncomfortably too small or wear a belt two notches too tight.
• Clothing that is to small / not protective / not covering especially if it is cold out. *You will select seven outfits and six sets of underwear and lock the rest of your clothing away. You are not allowed to do laundry more than once a week. You will do all your laundry at a laudromat.
• You will replace your panties with a bikini bind, and put at least five tacks, pointy side in, into each of your bra cups. You may replace the tacks with itching powder.
• ear high heels all the time except in bed. If you take them off anywhere else, spend 5 mins per 20 mins they were off standing barefoot on tiptoes as punishment - if you come down, restart.
• Any time you shower/take a bath, you must leave your socks on. You're not allowed to remove them until at least 30 minutes after you're finished.
• You can't wear anything that goes between your legs meaning no panties, pants or anything similar. Leggings are fine because they don't actually go between your legs.
• Have you considered snipping the elastic in the waistband of all your underwear? You can still wear them, but you'll be in a constant state of mild discomfort and perhaps even worry, and you'll have to pull them up all throughout the day, causing people to look at you more often.
• From now on you must wear high heels everywhere even just in your house.
• Wear all clothes inside out.

Food:

• You will cook your meals normally (no gaining time on the cooking part) , then blend the whole meal together and drink it from a bowl on the floor. No utensils, no hands.
• Eat under a extremely limited budget, so you can barely get enough food to not borderline starve if it's the cheapest possible food, so if you decide to have something slightly higher cost it could mean your budget for the next few days could be completely spent, not allowing for any food at all.
• Only drinking luke warm water with no flavoring.
• no blowing on your food to cool it down
• you're not allowed to use a recipe to make anything. do it from memory or guess.
• vegetarian/vegan if you're not. stop if you are.
• certain appliances (e.g., dishwasher) are off-limits.
• only use utensils poorly suited to the dish (fork and knife for soup, spoon for steak, chopsticks for breakfast cereal, etc.)
• no utensils - use your hands
• sit on your hands while you eat.
• step on your food.
• drink two glasses of water an hour before bed, and two more immediately before bed. no peeing less than four hours before you go to bed (e.g., if you go to bed at midnight, no peeing after 8 pm until the next morning)
• No caffeinated coffee in the morning, only one-two cups before bed time.
• Instead of adding sugar to your coffee every morning add salt.
• Replace your favorite condiment with the one you hate the most.
• Eat out of a bowl on the floor. Drink out of another.
• Since you like licking things, you'd have to lick anything you wanted to touch. Put on clothes? Lick them. Use the toilet? Lick it. Turn off your alarm? Lick it. Cook food? Lick all ingredients, tools and utensils (while obviously being safe, no licking hot stoves, let it cool down before you lick it if you forgot to lick it before turning it on). You get the idea.
• Boil sodas before drinking as only drink then while they're still hot but still drinkable.
• Choose an outfit, and from there you may change only one article of clothing per day. A pair of socks counts as one item (for safety reasons, shoes don't count), full-body garments (e.g. dresses) count as two, and while you don't have to wear everything all the time (e.g. you can't switch coats, but you can take whichever one you choose off when you're indoors) your first outfit must obey the spirit of the rule (e.g. bra/shirt/jacket is fine but bra/shirt/shirt/shirt/jacket is not).
• Find a few small sharp-edged stones (think gravel, rough but not something that will lacerate you) and ensure they stay in your shoes.
• Go find a spoon - just a normal, metal spoon. It's now your primary eating utensil, but it's also your best friend. It goes everywhere with you. You are to have it either in your hand or on your person at all times. Literally everywhere. Taking a shower? It's with you. On the tube? It's with you. Using the bathroom? It's with you. Walking? It's with you. And so on.
• No washing your spoon. The only way it ever gets clean is in your mouth.
• Caloric restriction - no more than 1300 Calories per day (assuming no medical issues preventing this).

Sex and Masturbation:

• The only porn you are allowed is link sent to you in response to a comment on an r/exxxchange "send me porn" post made by you. PMs are not allowed. Sex toys go in a locked box, no using them. You are to thank each person who has sent you porn after you are done masturbating
• porn of your favorite kink is forbidden. *humankind cannot fap to anything without giving something in return. to masturbate, something of equal or greater value must be lost. this is /u/regenda's first law of equivalent exchange.
• You are not allowed to clean up after a sexual encounter unless your "date" orders you to do so.
• Put a glass or a cup on as many chairs in your home as possible. When you sit down, that goes between your legs. Teaching you to keep your legs spread while sitting. Put something between your knees when sleeping (e.g., tie a pillow to the inside of your thigh), again to keep your legs spread.
• Posting to fapdeciders once a week. Posting to exxxchange more often, and ask for fetishes that you are not into. Roleplay on dpp about fetishes that you are not into
• At least three times per week, go on fiverr and order an audio voice recording (different person each time), body shaming you. Append each new recording to the last, eventually resulting in a long recording of different people body shaming you.
• Your tiny breasts are pathetic, and don't need a bra. So... no more bras.
• Listen to the body shaming recordings on your headphones on any commute, while masturbating, and while sleeping.
• Your cunt needs to remain completely unmaintained. No trimming, no shaving, etc.
• Any time you masturbate, you'll use your spoon.
• Your cunt already looks disgusting, but we're going to make it look even worse by stretching your inner labia -- You'll need to stretch your cunt lips every day. Start with 10 minutes the first day, and then increase it by 5 minutes each day. While you're stretching your labia, you'll apply some suction to your nipples w

Computer Fuckery:

• Question - are you willing to run windows shell scripts on your computer? Something that will press a key or move your mouse randomly at a random time, create a pop up box that you have to close, other generally annoying things.
• delete files from all your devices until every disk is at less than 1/4 of its memory.
• if you click on a link and then realize that the website is one of those awful clickbait sites like "top fourteen bowel movements" where all fourteen are on different pages, you have to click through every single one
• screw around with autocorrect settings (e.g., but -> butt, is -> isn't, dog -> dig)
• all social media posts and text messages have to follow a rule like "must have a prime number of words" or "no letter e" or "must have a typo"
• no listening to music between 6 am and 10 pm.
• no naming your files properly. save things as "untitled" "untitled(1)" "untitled(2)" etc.
• Set your phone's keyboard and spellcheck to french. Keyboard should start with azerty.
• On your PC, use your mouse on the other hand, configure it to swap the buttons. I am aware that you are a gamer.
• Only one phone charger that never moves.
• Only one-handed typing.
• Unplug electrical devices when you stop using them.
• Set all computers to 50% resolution.
• Play videogames on difficulties that are way too easy, or way too hard for you.
• Play videogames only using your weak hand, and having to switch from keyboard to mouse constantly, or operating a controller with just that hand.
• In a similar vein, choose one hand - the other one is banished from your keyboard.
• Find the last text message you sent, and choose a random word from it (use dice or a random number generator if necessary). You've forgotten that word until you get a new task, and may use it (until the end of a conversation) only if specifically reminded of it. This one is fun because it really does hinge on how (un)lucky you are. Alternatively, use the same method for a number between one and ten
• For now, set your mouse dpi/trackpad speed to as low as it will go.

06/03/2017: COMPLETED! Set the speed in Mouse Options to the slowest 'drag speed' It is hell already. Basically forced me to use arrow keys and scroll wheel to navigate!

Comfort:

• No warm water for showers.
• No A/C or heat.
• Very limited sleep
• No pillows/ blankets / sheets / covers
• Limited sleep along with having to do tasks during "sleep" time
• buy another alarm clock and set it for 4 am. put it somewhere you can't reach without getting out of bed.
• Cold showers only, each no sooner than 48 hours from the last.
• Bare feet 24/7.
• Add or remove glasses as appropriate.
• Wear two complete sets of clothes when you leave the house.
• No driving, use public transport and walk.
• Sleep in a small chamber, e.g broom closet or wardrobe. Ideally, you cannot stretch out your legs.

Furniture:

• whenever you would sit, kneel instead.
• Instead of a lunch break, head straight to a work toilet cubicle, get on your knees and stay there for an hour. That should be miserable enough and leave you hungry for the afternoon.
• Don't sit in any furniture when at home for the entire month of March. That'll do for a start.

Habits:

• For all of your favorite shows watch the previews ahead of time. When the show airs dvr it. Watch it on fast forward only stopping when the commercials are on.
• watch 30 minutes of kid's tv per day, and can't watch anything else before that's finished. read a kid's book every day before reading anything else, etc
• whenever you would sit, kneel instead.
• every time you use a pen/hair elastic/thing that you can never find when you need, throw it away. if you're on a budget, you can put it somewhere safe instead and not use it.
• if you're into politics, you have to get all your news from sources on the other side.
• you have to read two books/magazines/things at a time: a page from one book, then a page from the other, then another page from the first, etc.
• no using erasers or whiteout
• unscrew all your lightbulbs and put them somewhere safe.
• You may not operate light switches
• bite your nails
• If you smoke you need to light it with a dollar bill.
• Give up something you really like for a week. Every night, spank yourself 10 times for every time you thought about it on that day.
• Clean your house/apartment on all fours, no exceptions until done. If something seems impossible, improve (except high closets, etc. those are actually impossible)
• Close all doors all the time. Put on different shoes for the bathroom. Change underwear for the bedroom, and back when you leave (every time).
• Set the heating lower than you are comfortable with. Shower cold.
• Only one pot, one pan, one plate, etc..
• Only food that needs no cooling. Switch off your refrigerator.
• Try to wash your clothes less often (this must be carefully balanced since it not only involves others, but also will get you a reputation if you overdo it that is hard to get rid of).
• Just hard soap with no perfume.
• Arrange your hair so that is constantly blocking your sight. (Kinda like Sia, but more extreme)
• Wear no glasses/contact lenses if you need them, or do, if you don't (obviously not just regular glasses in that case)
• Write with your non-dominant hand for a day or week, making sure that other people get plenty of chances to "enjoy" your writing.

• Ban yourself from cards and paper money for a week, and be very thankful you're not American. (For practical reasons bills, rent and similar don't count. Embarrassing you is fine, but I don't want to put some poor landlord through the hassle of handling twenty pounds of loose change.)

• Enjoy at least two large cups of strong coffee every day, no more than two hours before your scheduled bedtime. Otherwise, it's off-limits.

Social:

• no telling anyone your opinion on anything unless it's specifically asked
• You will find bars near you with happy hours. Every happy hour (at least three evenings a week), you will go there and order one alcoholic drink, then drink it in public, slowly and without using avoidance behaviors (reading on your phone, staring straight down at the bar, etc). You are not allowed to refuse any drink anyone offers to pay for you, and you have to chat with whoever is paying you a drink until you have drunk it. You are not allowed to make yourself purposefully undesirable for this task.
• I know hair bothers some girls. If it bothers you grow out a bush/landing strip or your leg or underarm hair. Let it be seen by others. If you want punishment involved twease single hairs every time something happens. Like every time a song you like comes on the radio plus 5 hairs. For every complement you get pluck 10.
• Similarly if someone asks you out/for your number/ or wants sec you must punish yourself. Spankings or exposing yourself somewhere you might get caught.

Posture:

• Posture : you are to keep your back and head straight on at all times.
• When standing, you are to be on your toes, as if you had heels, at all times (with or without heels). When sitting, you are to keep your legs closed and parallel, bent at a right angle at the knees. You are not to use any chairbacks for support.
• You are forbidden to cross your arms. To control this, you will keep a small object on your head at all times (I suggest to hide it in your hair). You will punish yourself at the end of the day for every time it fell.
• Whenever you are home, you will keep your ankles hobbled (no more than two feet of chain/rope) and your dominant hand tied to the small of your back or the back or a collar.

Pee:

• You must carry a water bottle or other source of liquid with you at all times. Whenever you feel the need to pee, you must take a sip. You may only pee when you feel you are in dire risk of having an accident.
• From now on, you are no longer allowed to remove your underwear when you urinate. You may do so to defecate, but must wipe and put your underwear back on before urinating. After urinating, you may wring the underwear out by hand, then must put them back on. You may only change underwear in the morning. If you shower at another time, this means putting the same underwear back on afterwards.
• You must keep a large bowl by the head of your bed. Any time you urinate at home, it must be in this bowl. You may empty it only when it is within 1" of the rim. If you spill any on yourself while emptying it, you are not allowed to change clothes for one hour.
• You may no longer pee anywhere except at home. You must hold your urine until you reach home, or have an accident. If you have an accident, you may not change clothes until you return home.
• When going out on a date or to an important meeting (interview, class, etc.), you must dip your fingers in the bowl and apply some to both sides of your neck as a form of perfume.
• Urinate and defecate outside only.

Not able to do:

• If you smoke you need to light it with a dollar bill.
• You must accept any sexual advances made towards you, no matter your level of attraction.
• You may not use condoms during any sexual encounter.

Un Categorised:

Utensils are only for preparing food. You may not use them to put food in my property's mouth.

Whenever the slave leaves a public bathroom and it is the only one in it, they must lick the door handle on the way out.

Once a week the slave will dust all the furniture with it's tongue.

The slave is only allowed to pee in her domicile when she is in the shower. She may only use soap on her body once a day. (Hands are OK.)

The slave is only allowed eight hours of sleep per day. Just prior to sleep, a nicotine patch will be applied to it's skin. Two nicotine patches will be applied the next night if the slave feels rested in the morning.

The slave is not allowed to use plastic bags.

The slave will sprinkle sand into her panties in the morning and rub it in.

The slave will use numbing cream on my property's pussy. It will then be allowed to touch for ten minutes so that it can focus on learning what it's Master feels when it touches it.

The slave is not allowed to use furniture and will sleep on the floor.

The slave is only allowed to eat food that has been inside my property's pussy.

The slave is not allowed to use hot water to bathe. The slave will take an ice bath with a 5lb bag of ice until it melts once a week.

The slave is not allowed to spend any money unless the day is a prime.

Once a week, the slave will take a double dose of laxatives, a spoon of mineral oil, and a gallon of water within a single hour.


Wearing colored lenses for extended periods. Maybe a different color each day, or the same color for a week.
Ear plugs for a day.
Get a puzzle. Hide/throw away 5 of the pieces without looking at them. Finish it to the best of your ability.

Put a small ring of sand around the edge of your plate at mealtimes. You don't have to eat the sand, but you do have to clean your plate otherwise. This works best if the edge is slanted, so as you're cutting/eating and jostling the plate, the sand gradually works its way down.

Sand on your toothbrush/toothpaste.

Go to a park or nature trail. Find a branch or rock on the ground. Pick it up and lick the underside.

Cross your wrists when typing so your right index finger is on the a key and your left index finger is on the colon.

Based on your older prompts:

On warm days, wear too many layers so you're sweating. On cold days, wear shorts/skirt and a thin shirt.

My own sadistic ones:

No salt or seasoning when you cook. Always order the third thing on the menu (could be from entree section so not apps) when you don't. Love the blender idea too...

No more alcohol or cigarettes. At all. (Do you smoke now?) But light a cigarette, let it burn down, then add the ash to your meals or a glass of water every morning or night.

No hot water in the shower. You can heat it on the stove if you want warm.

You must wear bras that are the wrong size (I'm guessing too small is gonna suck more).

And because I'm really a sadistic motherfucker: only single ply TP

Sleep | you have to choose between a blanket and a pillow at night | When you're tired and ready for bed, you need to cum before you sleep | you need to sleep with the lights on/ tv on | you need to set your alarm 2 hours before you need to get up | if you normally sleep clothed, sleep naked, and vice versa | pour water on the bed before you sleep | chug a bunch of water before you sleep | sleep on the hard floor

-Food | you have to use the wrong utensils e.i. Fork for soup, spoon to cut food.. | no utensils at all | limit calories to 1000 a day | each bite has to be smaller than six side die | no food outside an 8 hour window | only Allowed to eat at the same 3 preset times each day. | keep a dairy of every bite of food you eat, as you eat it

-Other | no using a towel to dry after a shower/bath | you need to change in front of uncurtained windows | you must use diapers instead of a toilet | your can only urinate 2 times a day and have to hold it | you can't shave, the only hair removal is plucking | put sand in your underwear before you leave the house | put pebbles in your shoes | you have to wear a butt plug whenever you're not home | listen to music at half the normal volume so you can barely hear it | watch movie in a dubbed foreign language | intermittently brush you teeth with dry brush | orange juice and milk for breakfast each day, mixed together | spank yourself every time you curse

-Sexual | you must edge x times before you may cum | you are only able to place things in your ass | you can only master bate with a feather | you have to do something you hate before you can masturbate | you have to flash a stranger every day, panties or ass if feeling frisky | no underwear when you leave the house, skirt 1x a week

I think the idea of what you're planning is pretty awesome. I'd love to hear back if you like any of the ideas and would be glad to elaborate on any if that were the case.

Best of luck on a horrible and degrading month!

Eat everything on the floor with your mouth and no plate. If you drop something you need to bend at the waist only and count to 30.

You'll stir your soda for 2 minutes before drinking and you'll refuse ice.

Ice cream and sushi must be microwaved for 5 minutes.

Liquor must be drank out of a pair of high heels

You have to meow after your name is said.