I recently saw, and had a bit of a conversation on a post on this sub here that rightfully complained about some of the quality and manners of response we receive, when posting here as a woman. This inspired me to collate some information on the number and type of responses when I next made a post.

BIG disclaimer: This is an incredibly small sample size of one post at 8pm GMT, with one set of kinks and my sometimes subjective opinions

I also have pictures on my profile, this may sway the type of message I get and isn't the norm probably

I made a post here about some public dares and this is a basic break down of the replies from someone with 0 experience in any form of representing data. This data was collecting when messages started to slow down. I'm still receiving some sporadically but they won't be included

I'd say this was a below average number of responses I got today and also a below average quality of reply. Not sure why, probably on my part with it not being an amazing post

Type:

As a top level overview, here's a break down of the sort of responses. As of writing I received103 responses of one form or another. Of these responses, 12 were comments, 79 were chat requests and 12 were DM's.

As someone that uses reddit on my phone, I find the chat feature slow, doesn't always show notifications and also when you have so many responses it can be hard to keep track of them. Personally, I'd recommend trying a comment or a DM if you want to stand out to the person you're messaging (If people are dealing with a lot of chat requests, they may check DM's less often)

​

Message type chart

Content:

Now, getting to the maybe more interesting things. Of the 103 responses that I got, 7 of them were simply some variation of "DM me" and 23 messages were some simple variation of "hey". I can't speak for others, but I can't for the life of me see how that would ever convice someone with a lot of options to ever message you back.

Subjectively I find these a bit boring, but 45 messages were one sentence, typically something like "bend over and show someone your ass" This is something actionable and could be exciting, but mostly isn't.

15 people just messaged me asking them to send them nudes. Surprisingly only 4 people sent me unsolicited dick pics. 4 too many.

9 people responded with an interesting or unique message that was a good idea they seemed to actually think about and put effort into. These stand out a lot.

​

Message content chart

​

This one doesn't need a pie chart. However, 88 people's message went straight to the dare with no prior introduction, greeting or discussion, just saying "bend over".

11 people had some for of introduction first, that could have been saying hello, asking what I was in to, or anything really.

4 people introduced themselves a bit too much, telling me their name, age, height, where they're from, penis size... This is probably a bit too much for a first message.

​

Rudeness - Most important section:

Now, for the main crux of the issue. Of the 103 messages I received, 9 of them totally ignored either some part or all of the post. Asking me what my kinks were, asking me to do something that was listed as a limit, forcing their own kinks, or contradicting something that was in the post from the start.

13 messages were some form of rude/aggressive dom when I don't think anything in my post suggested that was my aim. These typically feature language that is demeaning and along the lines of calling me worthless, only good for sex, a bitch, some form of misogyny or trying to come across as the greatest dom to ever live.

2 of them were totally unrealistic dares asking me to do things that would cause harm or at an extreme level. Maybe some people are into it, but you should check first.

As I said earlier 4 people sent me dick pics as their first message. 15 people just asked me for nudes. 60 of the 103 were normal, harmless messages.

Only 58% of messages being normal is very sad to see.

​

Message rudeness chart

​

Dares:

The last point I want to make is to people out there responding to posts. I've already touched on simple messages like "hey" or "DM me", or things like basic one sentence replies are less likely to have the poster message you back, but this also applies to what it is you're suggesting. Obviously, you can't know every message that someone has received, but of the 103 responses, 29 of them were some very basic form of asking me to bend over. Some maybe would have more detail but not a lot. 18 of them were very indescriptive versions of "Flash someone" and 12 messages were a variation of "Edge x amount of times"

I understand that may be what you really want the poster to do, but chances are they already have been told or it gives you little chance to build something more exciting than one basic order. Maybe I'm in the minority of people who would like more than just a dare and that's it.

​

Conclusion:

A lot of what was above (more than I intended but I went on a bit of a rant) was to do with low quality replies. If anyone at all is reading this, consider what you would want to receive or what would be fun to see for the person you are messaging. I get a little lazy at times when I'm horny, but try to make it fun for both people.

The main issue is the 42% of replies I got that were in some way disappointing or upsetting. Women posting here shouldn't have to deal with this purely because of our gender.

Everything I mentioned above doesn't cover other prevalent issues such as people posting here trying to sell things or promote OF. People faking who they are (there are plenty of role play sub reddits, try there) and more I probably don't know of. These are no less annoying or important. I just didn't see any as far as I'm aware with this post

The mods here have a very difficult job trying to moderate what is posted and said in subreddit and also a lot of interactions that take place in DM's or chats. They do well when it comes to making comments encouraging people to report those who ruin it for the rest of us and the pinned post is a good resource but I'm sure most people ignore it. I'm not sure on any steps that could be taken to improve this. It's too easy for people to make another account and earn karma or wait a required account age that bans would be tough, and sometimes there's just too many people here to police everything all the time. I really don't know a fix for it, but it can be very disheartening.

​

TL;DR

Remember if you're replying to a post. Read the post, put at least some effort in, try to seem appealing to reply to, and don't be a dick. Men outnumber women here by a large margin and often one poster can have 100 people to choose from (or more, I'm certainly not near the top of replies)

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​