If they had done something overt to earn it then it wouldn’t be a difficult situation. Her hare formed slowly but it burns bright now. She used to feel welcomed and loved but once she got pregnant my family started treating her differently. -My mom got upset at her for “ruining Christmas” because she wouldn’t get off the couch because her back hurt too bad (she was pregnant). -My wife said several of my aunts pulled her aside and told her to suck it up and she wasn’t the first woman to be pregnant. -They accused her of ruining another holiday because she had a migraine. -We are a mixed race couple my uncle told my mom he doesn’t believe the races should mix. My mom did nothing but tell me, and I told my wife. We decided we didn’t want him around that uncle but he is always around my parents. So my wife doesn’t want him there since my parents won’t stay away from that uncle. - last Christmas I went with just me and my son to visit and at some point my son, 8yo, responded to something on the tv with “black lives matter” and they both yelled “all lives matter!” At him - my oldest brother let his ex wife talk shit about her at a family reunion and my wife found out. She was upset my brother did stop her - her mom is sick and awaiting tests this year so she wants to stay here my other brother thinks we are just making it up to get out of coming to his for Xmas - every time we visit she ends up feeling isolated and ignored even when she tries to be nice and help out. No one cares that she has disappeared - she broke her foot and they expected her to hobble around at a reunion to visit people.

She thinks they are low key racist and just wants to cut off all contact.

They don’t see anything they have done. Even though she is hurt they seem to think since they didn’t try to hurt her feelings that there is nothing to apologize for. They will not agree anything they have done was racist. Even slightly.

I feel I should also mention we are both neurodivergent and my family has nothing in common with us. We mask like crazy when we visit. The only reason to hang out is because we are family