I want to start by saying I know this is a long post but I could really use any suggestion or opinion I can get.

I (23f) am kind of in an awkward position with my relationship with my "dad" who I will call Anthony (52m) right now and need help making a decision. My entire life I grew up thinking that Anthony was my biological father, but found out around age 14 that he was not.

The reason that I found this out was because he had cheated on my mother and they were getting a divorce. After I found out I was a bit hurt but it honestly didn't change much. He was my dad because he raised me, not because of biology. Well. When I was in 8th grade, my mom met another man and Anthony disowned me stating that he wanted nothing to do with me since I "wasn't his child". This killed me. I felt unloved and absolutely broken. I grew up thinking that he didn't want me but missing and still loving him. Around 2016 he reached out telling me that my mom made everything up and that he never disowned me blah blah blah. I tried to include him in my life from there on out but he never showed any interest.

I graduated from high school in 2017 and he refused to come and then graduated from college in 2019 but he was too busy. Flash forward to 2020 and I was severely struggling with my mental health and attempted to take my life. Everyone on both sides of the family came by to visit or called to talk to me to check on me (this sounds like I wanted the attention but honestly I was glad to have survived and deeply regretted my attempt). The only person who didn't seem to care and didn't bother coming or reaching out? Anthony. He didn't even call my mother to check on me. Whatever. I healed and moved past it and he still did not have a care in the world.

I began finding out horrible things about who he was and what he had done in the past which made me uncomfortable to be around him but I tried to get past it. He had in the past and still drives intoxicated with my siblings in the car (he has multiple DUI's), has cheated on his current wife with a woman who got out of prison for shooting her infant up with horrible things, and so many more absolutely disgusting and disturbing things. Low and behold he started up again. He stopped calling me for birthdays and completely stopped involving himself in my life altogether, even when I tried. His family knows basically all of this and continues to support and trust him over anyone else saying "he didn't do that" or "not our Anthony". They have all been given the facts and choose to believe fiction, except for his Auntie who is the only one I still talk to. None of this information has been given to her, and I want so badly to tell her everything including the fact that I want to disown him and cut everyone but her out.

I recently found out that the reason he disowned me in the first place (because he did disown me, he lied about my mother blocking me from him) was because I am 1/4 black (my bio dad is 1/2 black and is also deceased and I have never met him. He and his family are incredibly racist and have been slowly pushing me out ever since the divorce. The only reason I talk to him at all now is because my brother lives with him and because of one Auntie I have that I still talk to on his side of the family.

I know it's a long post but I am really struggling with this.