Has anyone gone through this and how did you cope?

I have been here for a while and its been worsen health issues, etc, I am stuck and I feel really trapped, And throw in tons of heart ache over situation I have no control over.

What did you do to get through the worst and loneliest parts of being a aging transguy?

I think the worse what happen to my sexual health. I learned few weeks ago that I am going through pelvic prolapse and pain is intense at times. I never liked that part of my body. I tend to ignore entire pelvic region but its also major source of pain.

I never orgasm ever except twice this weird way I don't entirely understand. I don't think ever been in love with someone who felt the same. The few sexual attractions I experience were awful. Same with relationships.

Ugh I kept thinking if I kept to myself it would be okay. Even my Therapist encouraged this because alone is lot better than crap I had to put up with.

I go back and forth about relationships. I really don't want them but I am not sure about sex either its seems like its been several decades since I have done anything but maybe less time like 15 years.

Advise, help would be appreciated.