I'm 6 months on testosterone and love all my changes.

But the truth is is, I'm do afraid of the social transitioning that I'm beginning to wonder if I can do this. I'm worried about the fallout feom friends and family.

And then I start wondering if this is really who I am. If it's depression making me want to be someone I'm not, if it's the fantasy of being someone I'm not, or if this is really me.

I've struggled for 10 years with my gender, and the last 6 months has been amazing and terrifying. It's hard to tell if I'm scared of taking the leap or if this just isn't who I am. And then I look back at pictures when I was trying so hard to be happy and girly and I think that wasn't that bad, I could lose weight and grow my hair out and buy clothes and makeup and make it work again. But I don't think that's truly what I want. I hate this because I have no idea. And I thought being on T would help me. I love no periods, and the chest hair and leg hair and bottom growth and my voice deepening. I enjoy looking for more every day. But does that mean this is 100% who I am??? I know only I can answer this question, but damn I'm struggling finding an answer for myself. I wish I was more sure and confident in myself. Instead I'm just a depressed mess swimming along in life.