Tw: domestic abuse

A situation within my local community has recently unfolded where a high-profile trans woman has harassed and abused her trans male ex, publicly, and with help of other community members (in particular, some trans women. But also some trans men).

I first off wanna say, if he is reading, I am so fucking sorry. You deserve so much better than this and you are being let down on multiple fronts. Please stay strong. You are loved ❤️

Second thing I wanna say is I have found it a bit disturbing, and honestly triggering, to see such a large part of the community jump on board with abusing him like this. Triggering due to both abuse I've received 'as a woman' by men before my transition days, 'as a woman' by women back in my lesbian days, and my fears around being a man in a misandrist space (which the trans community can be).

His identity as a male has been weaponised against him. And people see no harm in hurting him, harassing him, trying to destroy him psychologically because he is 'just a man'. No regard for how vulnerable his trans status makes him or other parts of his identity which makes him vulnerable.

I don't say this lightly but he has published proof (as far as I am concerned) that this woman is an abuser firing every attack she can at him. Her own behaviour demonstrates this as well, because she is clearly obsessed with attacking him above all else. I find it so disturbing to see the community blindly following her just because she ticks the right identity boxes, and victimises herself while demonising his gender identity. I feel as if the community isn't a safe place for me. And this is isolating because mainstream society isn't either.

Obviously my heart goes out to him. Not trying to centre myself. He is going through it so much. I also just wanna say don't be afraid of supporting your trans male mates, even when it's unpopular to. Equally, we can't reduce anyone to their identity either (which is what she is doing to him), as this will always be weaponised by abusers. So let's stand on the side of solidarity for those abused. Whether male, female or nb. Trans or cis. White or POC. Regular-Joe or celebrity.