I started an intensive outpatient therapy program today and I'm really insecure/unsure about if I pass at all. So I went for the bathroom with the "all genders can use this facility" sign because I figured it's always safer to use the single-stall bathroom than to risk getting told I'm in the wrong bathroom, either way.

Turns out it wasn't a single-stall bathroom, it was just the regular women's restroom. There was a woman in there who did a double take when I went in. When I left I looked around the hallway and realized there's just the all gender bathroom and the men's bathroom, but no labelled women's bathroom. So, I'm definitely just using the men's going forward, but I'm frustrated because why on earth would anyone set things up like that? It's not inclusive, it just feels like they think all trans people are essentially women. If I had known it wasn't a single-user bathroom I would have just gone to the men's from the start. I feel like I got caught in a trap or I failed some test and now everyone there will see me as a woman, and I did it to myself.

(I am telling myself that that's my anxiety and dysphoria yelling and likely no one else saw and that person probably won't even recognize me if we cross paths again but it's just one more goddamn heap on shit mountain.)