cringe

I think there should be FML awards.
This is why my life sucks.

I'm male. And so that my Mom wouldn't have to go into a home- I'm her full-time caregiver.
Let me first say that I chose to do this. Just couldn't stand to see her go into a home because I used to volunteer at one and they are shit shows like you cannot imagine.
Every day of my life I taker care of Mom's every needs.
Which includes bedpan duty.
Which is the biggest reason my life sucks.
What makes it infinitely worse- she has dementia. Usually when you do something for the first time it's supposed to get easier right? Not when they have dementia and every single time is just like the very first- humiliating time for her. My heart breaks for her to have to suffer the humiliation.
No mother should have to have their son's wipe their ass and clean them.
No son should have to do this either.

Now that I've written this- I've changed my mind.
I don't deserve the FML for having the suckiest life.
My mom does. She's in hell every single day. So maybe I'm writing this for her.

But yeah. My life sucks hard but not as hard as her's.