This is an excerpt of something I had posted to the anime nees network. I love this show so much and this is why.

Subject: How FLCL helped me survive prison.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to gush about FLCL, but I might be the first who has spent 16 years, and counting, in a maximum security prison. When I was 29 I received a 20 year sentence for First Degree Armed Robbery. This is not a claim of innocence. I did the crime, I'm ashamed of what I did, and I am attempting to repay society in any way I can.

If I could be so fortunate as to be allowed to post a few things over the next eleven months then it is my dream to share my love of Anime, and what it has meant to my life with anyone who will listen. When I came to prison I don't think I even really knew what Anime was. I do recall a girl in highschool who would draw these colorful characters in art class. I heard some other girls mention the artwork, which was well done, as "Some of those <i>big eyed</i> cartoon characters."

Skip ahead to a decade later, I had been locked up for about two years and was in a very dark place. The sentence ahead of me wore heavily on my soul, a crushing weight to which I was succumbing. I would contemplate several things in the late hours of the night, too cowardly I thought, the easy way out. My mind would race, there was no way I would be able to do this much time. For hours I would struggle to find the sweet reprieve of some sleep only to wake again to find myself exactly where I left off before, I did not believe I would ever make it out.

It was in the late hours of one of these nights that I found myself in front of my Television, the electric blue light reflecting off the cell wall, casting a miserable shadow of a broken man. Absentmindedly I changed channels looking for a distraction and stumbled on a shocking scene. It looked like a boy, a robot and a very amorous girl were shooting each other with fully automatic airsoft guns? I didn't understand what I was watching but it held me like a moth to a flame. These characters were inexplicable, somehow they felt familiar yet alien at the same time. Then there was this music, oh the music. Was it alternative? Grungy 90's sound, what is this, what is this, omg, this is amazing WHAT IS THIS?!?

Later I would come to learn that the show was called FLCL the episode in question - "Brittle Bullet", and that music, which I proudly listen to while I write this now, "The Pillows". There were other episodes of Anime that came on that night as well, all very interesting to me but I couldn't shake what I had experienced with that first show. There was a Vespa, and at the closing credits there it was again, in live action stills, on the streets of. . . Japan? Yeah, has to be Japan, the credits on the screen gave that away.

The next morning I started asking around if anyone else had seen anything weird the night before, if anyone knew what it was. I couldn't find a name for the show right away but did learn about Adult Swim and these shows that would come on late at night. I would have to wait however for another week, Anime is only shown on Saturdays.

Throughout the week my mind kept racing from what I seen to what could possibly be coming next. After an agonizing wait the following Saturday evening found me glued to my screen and there like clockwork were my friends. Sad sad Mamimi, Eri Ninamori - The nouveau riche princess indeed, Haruhara Haruko the antihero and then this kid, Naota/Takuun.

The reluctant star and catalyst for any who came in contact with him. Who I wanted to be more than anyone, who for thirty minutes, I was. These terrible adults with their nastiness and these kids who don't know if its their time to grow up or not. All of them forced to answer that question for themselves. Wait, is this supposed to have this much depth? It's just a cartoon - right?

Of course I knew it wasn't a cartoon it was real life, it was several slices of my own journey from childhood to adulthood served back to me with the graceful inconspicuousness of a madman. This was who I was before I became one of these terrible adults.

Thanks to FLCL I had opened my eyes to who I was and not liking who I met, decided to start making some changes. No longer did I dread the quiet of the nights, alone with my remorse and self loathing. I had a purpose now and I had to learn everything I could about these six episodes and why did they make me feel, well, just feel?

I could wax poetic for days about this series and will definitely do so in future posts if I am fortunate enough to be able to continue, but have rambled enough already and fear that my audience may be dwindling this deep into my post.

To be clear I don't ask for anything but to be allowed to have a voice here. I love this genre so much and want to share that with anyone I can. Some things I would like to explore in the year ahead include discussing the fears and anxieties for a person who has lost the last 16 years of societal participation. Facebook really wasn't a thing when I was last out there, my phone flipped open like a clam and had a little retractable antenna. I would like to discuss some of the issues that affect an incarcerated Anime fan, Lack of options . . .