Should I Farm That - Vs. Malicious Monsters (Dragon Quest XI S MK) and Behemoth (KH week 2 trial) Edition AKA Not sure if I'm happy or sad FFVI is delayed Edition

Well, I spent a lot of time this past week working on an extra special SIFT for FFVI. Not just because it's one of my favorite FF games, but because this Friday is my birthday. I celebrated my birthday 25 years ago by buying a copy of FFVI (technically 3 weeks after my birthday but it was a late b-day gift) which was the basis for my intro shit post. For those of you that have been reading SIFT for a long time, you might remember that reminiscing about playing the banner's game was my shtick. I went for some shtick-ception by reminiscing on how I used to reminisce but that was all ruined by Gumi releasing the DQ XI S banner instead. Sure I have some DQ nostalgia but it's all for DQ1. This is 10 sequels and 30 years beyond what I care about. I guess there's a silver lining: I have slightly more time to save up lapis for FFVI and they might actually release the banner to coincide with the 25th anniversary of the NA release of FFVI (Oct 20).

A few months ago, I decided the sub was way too negative so I eased up on my angry rantings (some people took me seriously). Well, in protest to this banner (which I'm unilaterally calling shitty based entirely on my heavily biased personal feelings and not the event itself), I'm going full-on, no holds barred, verbally abusive nerd rage for this post. Give me a moment to get into character, it's been a while...

First of all, what blithering idiot with black licorice flavored pudding for brains came up with the key system for this banner? So instead of having to pull on a multi unit banner with a coin system safety net (great other than the lap extra pulls needed to have enough coins), we end up with the better units requiring either getting lucky with silver keys or having to pull a bunch of time (with none of those pulls having any chance of getting the unit you want) to get enough gold keys to get one copy of the unit. No tickets, no random luck from lapis pulls. While we're doing this, let's do something equally fun like shoving hedgehogs up our asses! Gumi, want some good advice? Any gacha system that requires a couple paragraphs to explain is an incredibly stupid idea. Is this the supposed change to the EP system? Did they actually mean, "we heard you cared about keys. Here's more obnoxious keys for you to collect!"

Thanks Gumi, but I would rather drink the used bleach that a porn star used to lighten the color of their poop chute than pull on your key system banner. May whoever came up with this terrible idea end getting stuck in the rain which wets their underwear chafs them until they get bleeding gential blisters. I hope the next time you use a mechanical pencil, all of the lead has already broken up into tiny little pieces that are too short to write with. I hope the next time you try to have sex, the three legged goat takes your money and runs away.

And what the hell is with the nonstop limited banners? The timing of this event is just terrible. We're talking "5 minute ass-clench diarrhea walk to the bathroom only for someone to jump in the only stall just before you" levels of horrible timing.

MK Rewards

With no 3 star units for currency bonus it's going to be an annoying grind to get the basic rewards. Fortunately, the limited event rewards were designed by a brain damaged molester of sewer rats so it's not a big deal if you skip them.

Flaccid Falcon Blade
[sword]: 90 ATK, normal attacks hit twice.

OMG! I always wanted OG Lightning's TMR in weak-ass sword form! This is 38 more ATK than Twin Lance and a more common weapon type! I can't believe Gumi won't like me buy 15 of these! How else am I supposed to rely on just auto attacks to clear general content without a whole bunch of these?

This is trash tier. Go pick up Ragnarok - Replica (104 ATK) or Enhancer (106 ATK, 23 MAG, 10% HP, 20% MAG) if you're desperate for a non-elemental sword.

If any of you equips this on your friend unit, I hope both FB and Google locks your account and your goldfish runs away from home.

Scat Cat Suit
[clothes]: 21 DEF, 32 MAG, 10% ice/dark resist

32 MAG is the highest MAG on clothes that doesn't come from a rainbow. In fact, the only clothes with higher flat MAG are Dark Fina's TMR (60 MAG) and SS Nichol's SMTR (70 MAG) but you'll almost always rather use a robe for MAG than these clothes. Siren's Robe (trial, 40 MAG/SPR, 30 DEF, 100% resist sleep and silence) is very easy to obtain from a trial.

The dark and ice resist isn't even worth considering. Vishnu Vest (3 star TMR, 36 DEF/SPR, 15% MP, 25% fire/ice/lightning/lightdark resist) is vastly superior. That has so much more resist on it, you'll be able to make up the lost MAG elsewhere if you need the resists. If you haven't pulled an Edward yet, odds are very high you'll pull one before you're strong enough to take on fights where you'll need the resists.

Even newbies can easily get Siren's Robe and Vishnu Vest is much better for resists, so this is outright trash tier.

Elevating Shoes
[accessory]: 20% charm resist, 30% unit EXP

Not enough charm resist to matter. Only newbies and unit leveling junkies need EXP boosts from battles. Veteran unit leveling junkies should just get EXP eggs (yeah, I'm using the original FFVI name for Growth Eggs. Fight me.)

Some crappy materias

I'm sure there's also some terrible materias not even a newbie would use. I'm not even going to bother looking them up. I'm just going to rate them as stupid as drinking out of a toilet - a chemical toilet with the weird blue liquid instead of water.

If I'm mistaken about this, I don't give a flying fuck. It's only Tuesday (as of writing this) and I'm already done with this banner.

(S)TMRs

Mordegon's STMR
Mordegon's Staff
[rod]: 180 MAG, 7% MP refresh, 30% magic evade

I see that Gumi is using their lazy <unit name> 's < conflicting weapon type> formula for naming gear. I'm so glad they're putting up their A-game for this collab. I haven't felt this much excitement since I wiped my ass and the toilet paper looked clean.

As a reminder magic evade doesn't stack so it's not really worth considering.

This is the highest flat MAG rod in GL and JP so it's potential BiS.

Mordegon's TMR
Mordegon's Cloak
[accessory]: 22 DEF, 50 MAG, 40% dark resist

I see cloaks are accessories today. For the record we now have 6 clothes items with cloak in the name and 7 accessories with cloak in the name. It's easier to get a group of 20 adults with differing food restrictions/fad diets/allergies to decide where to get lunch than for Gumi to be consistent with naming things.

This is good but a bit disappointing for a brand new limited time unit's TMR. WK Noel is nearly 3 years old and his TMR is 50 DEF/MAG and 25% ice resist. Sure it's a bit less elemental resist but that DEF will almost always be useful unlike dark resist. Even after the fix/nerf for Christine's TMR, it's still much better with 50 MAG, 30 SPR, and chance to counter with 15% HP recovery and 2 LB. Even Freya (VP)'s TMR is arguably better in most scenarios with 55 MAG and 20% MP. It's not bad, I just expect more from limited units.

You want to know what upcoming unit also has a 50 MAG accessory? Great Mage Kefka. He's not a limited unit but he gets a much more useful 100% silence/confuse/stone resist. That's right, a FFVI unit has a better TMR. Screw this collab.

On a TDH mage, Circe's TMR (45 MAG, 30% MAG, 20% MP) or Nutkin Hairpin (40 MAG, 40% MAG) are generally going to give more MAG.

This isn't much better than Cursed Doll (trial, 50 MAG, 30% ice, -50% confuse) which is reasonably easy to get.

If you don't care about the MAG and just want the dark resist, Angel Earrings (3 star TMR, 50% dark resist) is a better option.

The accessory is more than serviceable, but not as good as all other similar gear except when you need the dark resist. Thus, it gets a good rating.

Great Dragon
Way of the Dragon
[materia]: 20% ATK, 40% ATK with fists

You know what's the first thing I think of when I think about the way a dragon fights? Not breath attacks, biting, tail whipping, gusts from wings, spells, or even simply rolling over and crushing things. It's punching. I always picture Mike Tyson with a dragon mask on when I think about how dragons fight. I bet one of you wants to point out that fist weapons includes claws and dragons use claws to attack. Well, you're wrong and you should feel bad about it. It says right in the news post "when equipped with fists" with no mention of claws. You can't argue with official sources of information no matter how terrible, old, and overused that joke is.

This is essentially a slightly less restrictive version of Tifa's TMR ( 30% ATK with fists, 30% ATK with hat) or Lucius' TMR ( 30% with fist, 30% with clothes).

Meanwhile, Monk Sabin's TMR ( 60% ATK with fist) is vastly superior. Not because of the almost decent regen on it, but rather because it's from FFVI and not DQ.

Fists are still a bit niche right now but we know Madam Edel is eventually going to punch her way to the top of the damage charts. It's pretty interchangeable with a few other materias that aren't limited so it is not important to get this in preparation of Madam.

Eleven's STMR
Supreme Sword of Light
[sword]: 180 ATK, Supreme Sword of Light => 50% LB damage

I'm not sure which is worse, the stupid character name "Eleven" or the fact that the "Supreme Sword of Light" doesn't have a light element.

They should have stuck with one of his Japanese names: イレブン (pronounced ee-reh-boon) or 主人公 which translates to "Protagonist." For the record Luminary is his title, not his name. He has no official name and like most other DQ games is just known as the Hero. So let's call him Randi.

Supreme Sword of Light is just terrible without any justification so I hereby rename this as the Almighty Non-elemental Uber Sword. I can't wait to get this and wave my ANUS in everyone's face. Everyone will wish they had an ANUS like mine! I'll be like, "Hey buddy, I see you got a nice weapon there, but can it do as much damage as my ANUS?" "Years from now, I'll fondly look back at all the wonderful things that I did with my mighty ANUS."

While this is the highest flat ATK on any sword (technically tied with Angel Slayer but that's not a real weapon) it won't necessarily be BiS. If you don't need to worry about LB damage, R Lightning's STMR (169 ATK, 50% eqATK TDW, 30% LB damage) can often give higher overall ATK. For example, if R Lightning's STMR let's you drop a Bartz TMR, you can drop in a higher ATK accessory to make up the difference in the swords' ATK values (of course the difference will be too small to ever really matter other than showing off the size of your massive e-peen).

But if LB damage matters, it'll be practically impossible for any 1H weapon to beat this. But it's not nearly as awesome as using Ultima Atma Weapon, Ragnorak/Illumina, Genji Glove, and Offering to kill Typhon Chupon in the Coliseum to get an elixir. But that's only possible in a much more awesome game than DQ XI S.

Irebun's TMR
Erdwin's Coronet
[helm]: 40 ATK, 21 DEF, Erdwin's Coronet => 20% LB damage

I guess Erdwin is a horse? Because we all know coronet is the band of tissue on the lowest part of a horse's pastern, containing the horn-producing cells from which the hoof grows. Coronet can can also refer to a crown but why would a horse wear a crown? That's just weird. Putting a severed horse foot on your head makes far more sense.

40 ATK is respectable but nothing special. You'd be wearing this for the LB boost. Depending on your unit's rotation and other LB boosts, this very well could be BiS compared to head gear with higher ATK but on a lot of units that don't spam their LB, you're better off with higher ATK. Still 40 ATK is more than decent so this gets a good rating.

Veronica's STMR
Crown of Eternity
[hat]: 34 DEF, 61 MAG, 32 SPR, Crown of Eternity => reduce MP usage by 30%

This barely edges out Karlette's STMR for highest flat MAG on a hat (61 vs 60 MAG). But Karlette's also gives 60 ATK (highest flat ATK on any head piece) so it's much more useful overall. That said, the 30% MP usage reduction is always a good thing on MP hungry mages - especially since it is on an item that is potentially BiS for pure MAG builds.

Wait a minute, this bitch is trying to one-up Terra with useful MP reduction equipment. Gumi, you better buff MW Terra's STMR from that shitty 10% to at least 35% MP usage reduction. Nobody upstages the "not-really-but-officially-is" the main character of FFVI!

Veronica's TMR
My writing style for this SIFT Channel Anger
[materia]: 40% MAG, 50% eqMAG TDH

I'm glad Gumi continues to understand that when it comes to Alim, any decisions they make about mages is terrible. They bumped up the magic TDH on this materia from a really awkward 25% to a much more reasonable 50%. This is now a straight upgrade to Magical Potention (4 star TMR, 50% eqMAG TDH) and Unmatched Wazardry (limited 4 star, TMR, 50% eqMAG DH).

This really holds its own against STMRs too if you only care about MAG. GLS' STMR ( 20% HP/MP, 50% eqMAG/eqSPR TDH) gives less total MAG (~120 MAG) but you shouldn't underestimate the magic eHP bulk that STMR gives. This TMR is equal to the MAG half of Nagi's STMR (also gives equivalent ATK boosts). Christine's only gives 10% more MAG (~30 MAG) and 50% ice resist. Elena's gives an additional 20% MAG (~60 MAG) as well as equivalent ATK boosts.

Yeah well, MW Terra is better with TDW so this TMR can kiss my ass. The fact that I would also need at least two STMRs for eqMAG TDW that I don't currently have to make those builds only slightly better than TDH is only a minor impediment. Clearly the fact that this TMR is potential BiS for most players is unimportant when the mage I want can do better with STMRs-I-don't-own builds! (For the slow witted among you that don't understand the joke, this is very good. Whether TDH or (T)DW is better will depend on your gear).

If trust moolges will be available for this, I'm buying it and prisming it (after I see what the free silver keys do for me, assuming we get some free ones)

Serena's STMR
Divine Intervention
[materia]: 60% SPR, escape death one time (100% chance) when HP above 1%

The SPR is just a nice bonus. It's the guts passive that's the prize here. Relying on a passive is a bit of a niche strategy so this gets the very good but niche rating.

If you don't care about the guts passive, this is just another niche SPR materia that only a few units would use.

Whoever came up with our key banner system better have a stack of these equipped. They'll need it when they face my all-powerful ANUS!

Serena's TMR
Serenica's Surplice
[robe]: 34 DEF, 29 MAG, 67 SPR, 100% confuse resist, Serencia's Surplice => 10% MP, 50% charm resist

If you have Rinoa's STMR, together they'll give you 100% charm resist. And the confuse (worst ailment) resist is always welcome.

67 SPR is only topped by Kimono Ayaka's TMR and some STMRs but that's only really useful if you're gearing a unit that attacks with SPR. If you want magic eHP bulk, consider Olif's TMR (4 star, 55 SPR, 10% HP) instead. Or better yet, Imperial Robe (Morgana trial reward) along with the rest of that set.

Like most things SPR focused, this niche - just like the fan appeal of this banner.

KH week 2 trial

Solid Necklace
[accessory]: 30 DEF, Solid Necklace => auto 80% DEF active buff

Niche use in fights with preemptive attacks that spam physical attacks. Or if you're like me and almost never use stat buffs for trials and need to beef up a unit a tad.

White Fang
[accessory]: 15 ATK/DEF, 20% MP

How the hell is this fetid skunk corpse the reward for the hard version of the fight? At least the other one has some niche use. This is just rotten trash even a starving racoon wouldn't come near.

If your gear is so bad that this is an upgrade, you're not ready to handle any fights where gear really matters that much.

TL;DR:

Potential Bis:

• Mordegon's STMR (rod, 180 MAG)
  
• Eleven's STMR (sword, 180 ATK, 50% LB damage)
  
• Veronica's STMR (hat, 61 MAG, 30% MP use reduction)
  
• Veronica's TMR (materia, 40% MAG, 50% eqMAG TDH)

Good:

• Mordegon's TMR (accessory, 50 MAG, 40% dark resist)
  
• Eleven's TMR (helm, 40 ATK, 20% LB damage)
  

Very good but niche:

• Serena's STMR (materia, 60% SPR, guts passive)

Niche:

• Great Dragon (materia, 20& ATK, 40% ATK with fist)
• Serena's TMR (robe, 67 SPR, confuse resist, 50% charm resist)
• Solid Necklace (30 DEF, 80% DEF buff, good for preemptive attacks)

Newbies:

• Elevating Shoes (accessory, 30% EXP from battle, useless 20% charm resist)
  

Trash:

• Falcon Blade (sword, normal attacks fart twice)
  
• Cat Suit (clothes, 32 MAG, 10% ice/dark resist)
  
• White Fang (moldy constipation nugget)
  

As it is my birthday this Friday, I fully expect all of you to send me as much lapis as you can. Be sure to sell your blood and panhandle in busy intersections to maximize how much money you can spend on me. I'm going to need a lot of lapis for a new ANUS!

Just kidding. I don't need the lapis, just send the cash.

(Seriously, if you want to help celebrate my birthday, just do something nice for another human being)

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