My husband is amazing. He was never religious, though he grew up going to church. He helped me escape my mother’s control and encouraged me to find myself and become a stronger person.

He’s been struggling with anxiety and stress over life in general, but he’s hesitant to go to therapy or use medication. Recently, he’s started reading the bible casually, and told me the quote I put in the title.

I’ll be honest, it shook me to my core. Like, visceral repulsion and fear. I did not like hearing that. But, I recognize I have a lot of religious trauma I still have to work through.

I told him basically, “okay, if you’re finding comfort in that, I don’t mind. Just do not talk to me about it. If you start following patriarchal beliefs and try to convert me or the children, that is a hard limit I will not tolerate.”

He promised he never would, and thinks his journey is personal.

It’s really bothering me. l catch him reading the bible randomly and it makes me sick to my stomach and pins and needles all over. He’s not brought it up or tried to involve me, as promised.

I just hate it. But I don’t want to be a controlling partner.

I’m in therapy myself, so I’ll probably just talk to them, they’re not specializing in religious trauma, but maybe they can give me some way to cope.

EDIT TO UPDATE: Thank you for the kind responses. They helped me to calm down and reassess. I took your suggestions to talk to him calmly.

What he said: it’s just comforting and he’s trying to find ways to become calmer and “better himself.” In his childhood, religion was not oppressive. It was more of a soft common thread in the family. His family went to a “chill” progressive church(not sure what denomination) that fully supports LGBT , feminism, and bodily autonomy. The most serious bible message they followed was “love thy neighbor.” So his experience with the church was one of love, acceptance, and comfort, while my experience was one of fear of exclusion, bigotry, prejudice and sexism.

I feel much more at ease knowing this now and I appreciate the grounded comments suggesting I should just ask him. ❤️