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Purity culture, hymen, and doctors
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I unexpectedly broke down in the doctor’s office today. I’m starting the process of egg freezing. I thought it would just be a consult, but they wanted a vaginal ultrasound. I haven’t had anything in my vagina before and I still have this attachment to saving my hymen. Intellectually I know that’s silly and it could break just with daily activity, but having something forced up there was really traumatizing. For the egg collection they’ll insert a needle all the way to my cervix, which will for sure destroy my hymen.

I know it’s silly to be distressed- it’s my future fertility against the slim chance I’ll marry, have sex, and break my hymen that way - but it’s really bothering me.

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I can’t bring myself to do it and they’ve started asking me consistently at the new place I go, every month I have to awkwardly push it off and I know it’s a risk but my mind cannot decide it’s worth it.

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That’s exactly how I feel, this is actually the first time I’ve ever said Anything ha- haven’t told even a sister or friend once. Too embarrassing/feels ridiculous.

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4 months ago