So this is awkward to write but I'm a month in and I just feel so done. I'm 1 month postpartum today.

I never intended to breastfeed or pump or anything. I always thought I'd do formula for my baby. But I gave into pressure from some people and started breastfeeding. Then nursing didn't work out so I had to switch to pumping.

I hate it. I regret giving into the pressure of milk production. Every time I have to sit down to pump, I feel like crying. I'm touched out from pumping and it sucks. I feel so embarrassed about that.

The one thing is, every time I've tried cutting out a session, I can't handle it. I'm an oversupplier so my body just goes "Can't do it." I've been exclusively pumping for 2 weeks and I have over 500 oz in my freezer. I'm not an insane oversupplier but I get above average when I pump. So I feel even more guilty wanting to quit.

I had infertility for a decade and now I'm spending 5-6 hours a day doing pump related activities. I didn't wait a decade for this baby to be wasting all of this time not focusing solely on him.

Now I feel like I'm stuck doing this because my attempts to wean off sessions has completely failed. I'm currently at 6-7 PPD and I'm getting more miserable every day. I wish I could quit.

Edit: I've been trying to drop a pump session for well over a week and all it results in is clogged ducts. So it's been painful and uncomfortable. As someone who is oversupplying, it's not as simple as just dropping a session, even though I wish it was. I also don't have a doctor as I live in an area where getting one is an 18 month wait list. Which really sucks!!!