M26 here, just for a bit of context, I had (a 4 year relo) broken up with my ex (F24) around 2 years ago and we continued an unhealthy casual relationship for 1 year filled with lies, anxiety, toxic power imbalances and a lot of manipulative games (this really destroyed me)

I had been sticking to no contact ever since things didn’t work out but she continues to reach out and contact me. She wanted to follow me back on Instagram at the start of this year and I curiously added her back. I wasn’t posting too much and ignoring most of her stories even though I still felt hurt from the break up.

I started travelling solo, I’m currently 4 weeks into my trip around Thailand training Muay Thai and at the start of the trip my ex contacted me through insta replying to one of my stories. We had spoken pretty in depth for about two weeks about our lives and what has been going on… I must say I was very passive at the start and she became quite flirtatious with me and very reminiscent of the good times in the relationship, I matched her energy and flirted back a little bit. After a decent back and fourth for about two weeks the communication started to settle down and she was acting a little less available, I was pretty understanding of the situation as everyone has their lives to live especially if I’m on holiday and I have a bit more time to myself. But for some reason I got upset and started to feel like she wasn’t that interested in me and then I asked for clarification why she was reaching out and why she was flirting with me.

I spoke to her over the phone and was pretty calm and collected, asking her questions and not reacting, she was very reactive and had her walls up. I could tell she was refusing to be vulnerable with me even though I had shown parts of my vulnerable side to her throughout conversation.

The conversation naturally started to die down and I thought I would give closure to each other that we weren’t very good for each other considering we couldn’t communicate and comprehend effectively and that she needed to find someone she could be herself around, where she could be open and honest, not an ego driven relationship

She then tried to end it by flirting, trying to keep curiosity, and asking what do we do next. I kind of shut the flirting idea down and reinstated my need for No contact. I was nice short and wished her the best for the rest of the year. After the phone call, I unfollowed her social media and blocked her on what’s app, which are the only forms of communication.

Im sitting here thinking about messaging her but I think it’s a bad idea because nothing has changed in my ex, did I over react to unfollowing her after the phone call? I’m sitting here conflicted even though I gave closure.

TLDR: Anon I know it’s a massive vent but it’s been 2 and half weeks NC and I’m just a little hurt, I’ve been doing very well for myself and I feel like it’s a massive set back. I feel like I have obsessive thoughts coming back through social media and I’m in a foreign country solo travelling

Can I get some advice and support Thanks heaps for listening homies