She was the first and only girl I have felt ever felt actual love for, who was also in a different state. After a long time of us trying to act like nothing was wrong, and me trying to figure how to handle these first time feelings, she left me. I hated it at first, and tried to be friends, but it didn’t work out. Not too long after, I found out she was dating a guy that was similar to me and we’d been friends with.

Despite the feelings that brought up, I have only looked at her social media once since then and it was only for a few minutes. I’ve used the whole relationship as a learning experience and tried my best to improve myself since then. I no longer love her but the fact she’s the only one to make me feel that way has made me long for her. Somedays are harder than others.

I don’t know what to do anymore.