So I'm sitting in my chair wanting to text her I miss her and I that I want to work on our marriage.. But I know I shouldn't. I would just get hurt even more.. I'm 23.. My gut told me I was to young for marriage and that just being with her wasn't right. But yet I find myself sitting her missing her so much.

Little back story, we split the last Wednesday of May after our first huge fight. Her son told me she was texting a old boyfriend and she said it was a innocent conversation and she wouldn't do it agian, after I told her that was my one huge boundary. But she deleted the texts and said it shouldn't of been a big deal.

She however took screenshots of my texts between my mother, brother and I asking for advice on how to deal with the news I received about her texting another guy. She stated she couldn't trust me after this and how could she ever go around them now, since they now knew.

During this argument she stayed on her phone playing words with friends being emotionless while I balled my eyes out asking how to fix our marriage and what can I do for her. It's when I asked for a hug I knew it was over and to listen to my gut.. when we hugged she wouldn't hug me back or look at me. I put my ring down and said I'm leaving. She said be safe and that was it.

I went NC til that next Monday when I asked her if she would want to work on our marriage rather than quit during our first big fight.. I wanted to fight for her but she said she was done and wanted to call it quits.

That we were just to different and she couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved and she's better off alone and relationships are to hard for her. It devastated me..

After those texts that day I texted her once agian a week later asking to work on things and can we try, once again she said no it's done. So I've been NC now for about a week and a half and I still want to text her and ask if she wants to work on things...

She hasn't once texted me about anything... I'm devastated... I love her so much but I know in my gut i deserve someone to love me back the way I love them.. But still.. the feels... Sorry for this wall of text.. I just needed to vent.