So basically (M 24) and (M 22) we were in a relationship from 2023 January and we were in live in relationship till December. Everything was going great. We used to have dome silly fights that was resolved. He was my first boyfriend and I didn't have any idea about relationship.I was so in love. He was too. IDK maybe he pretended to be. On December he had to move out to his hometown due to some financial issues. So on first week of January I asked him his Gmail Id. I got know that he was cheating me the whole time the whole year he was using multipe dating apps and basically gave me an STD which is treated as of now tho. So on January 9 2024 I broke up with him even though I loved him so much. He begged and cried so much. I was so vulnerable at that time and wanted to end my life and was crying for straight 1 week. Emotionally I cried and mentioned to my mother and told he cheated me I loved him so much but mother was not able to understand anything. Then I mentioned her I'm gay . Eventually all my family members and relatives got to know about this. My elder sister warned me that he will hurt you again. Once he get a job he' s gonna marry a girl and dumped you. I didn't listen to anyone. I was so weak at that timeThen he told to he wants to change and atleast I should him a chance got manipulated easily and forgave him too we resume our relationship then. From last year January 2024 we resumed and did long distance relationship. Even though I was still having trust issues. Whenever he used to go outside I used to feel anxious all the time. Thought he updates everything where he's going or where he's at. We used to meet every month. I go and stay at his parents house. So on June 2024 he came to stay in my room for few days. On the second day I wanted to check his phone as I'm having trust issues. When I asked him he just broke his phone three times and he instantly booked tickets and to went back to his hometown the next day. I begged, cried and requested him to stay the whole night he wanted to breakup. Then morning at the heat of the moment I had done something stupid as he was leaving. He was wearing a jeans which I had gifted on his birthday. That was his favourite jeans. I mentioned him you don't deserve to wear this I snatched the jeans. I thought he will not leave then. But still he left to the station half naked early morning just wore a normal short pant and shirt as he didn't bring extra clothes. He was so hurt his eyes were red. I wanted to go and hug him but he was avoiding me in public. Then the same day he reached home didn't call or text. Instantly blocked me. I used to beg him to text or call me for 5 days . Then on the 6th day he unblocked me and spoke with me. And told me he can only do friendship as I was close with his family. But I wanted more and I wanted him to forgive me. When I asked him about our relationship he used to be frustrated and instantly changed the topic. Then after 1 month he told he can do only friendship asked him properly. Then I went NC with him as it's hard for me to be his friend. Broke NC multiple times andgot the same answer everytime. He asked me to meet him on October month. We met and talked I saw that hatred side of him on his eyes. Then asked him why can't you come back he said he doesn't have feelings for me and doesn't love me back. I was hurt and in pain by hearing this. Then we went back home the next day. We were still over in call Till november then I got to know that he was dating someone else . Like how can he move on easily? He moved on already in 4 months and claims to be. And told me to move on as well . But I wanted him only. Then again on December first week I told him it's hurting to be in contact. I went no contact and ghosted him as it was really difficult for me to control my emotions. So I went no contact for 1 month straight and this is the longest I have gone through. I broke again yesterday as I was missing him but he have blocked my number. Today morning on January 9 2025 he texted asked why did you call? I just love him so much and unable to move on from him . What should I do guys please help me.