*If this kind of post is not allowed, I apologize. It's more or less what I wish my former partner and I could have spoken about. Obviously, without full context for anonymity. That also expresses that my hopes/intentions now and then were always for their good primarily with this topic for lack of a better way to explain it.

Dear E, 🌙

You'll never see this, and I'll never send this as a letter or message..

The conversation I'd hoped to have with you and my hopes and intentions were never to for lack of a better phrase, "One up" or Out do you. I always did and in the end still wanted to help or be helpful to you, even though most anyone would want to do the opposite knowing what I did. Knowing what you had been doing and for how long I let it go on. I hoped that you'd look at your behavior and maybe think, "Considering who I'm hurting is this a good look?" Maybe Shame or IDK could bring you back to Earth.

I wanted you to be free. To be free to just feel OK, without needing anything outside of yourself to achieve that. And an endless number of other things for yourself. Without an outside Person, substance, etc. I know your mental health isn't the pretty, well-put-together picture you may paint it to be and I can understand why you choose to portray the opposite.

Know, I didn't care if it was with or without me. I just wanted you to have that. Choice was taken from you a long time ago in a sense, so was any fault of your own of feeling this way because of it.

-I hope the garden every spring and summer reminds you of how much I cared 🌸