Over the last month I’ve gone through some really low times, even had a few moments I was willing to just commit to the big sleep. My ex has been very emotionally manipulative with me over the past month. Showing affection at times with words and physical touch, even used me for sex (We live together for the time being and have a 2 yr old daughter). She started dating and having sex with other people 3 or less weeks after our break up, even went back to some guy she had cheated on me with 4 years ago. . While I’ve been going to therapy trying to learn to be a better person and heal the parts of me that allowed myself to sabotage my relationship. I’ve begged for her back and 2 nights ago as she was fixing to go out on a date and I had a breakdown I asked her if she was sure she wanted to sever our relationship her response was

“Idk what other indication I’ve given to suggest I’m not 200% done”

Even though she’s been cuddling me, saying I love you and showing affection in general. So I told her I’d leave her alone then. Yesterday I went out for 2 hours with a guy friend to shoot pool from 5-7pm, mind you she had agreed this Friday she wasn’t going out. Of course as soon as I got home she passed our daughter off to me and went to shower and left to go have sex, I only know this because she took our little bag with sex toys and condoms. Didn’t come home until I had to leave for work at 3am less than an hr ago.

At this point I’m done. She has shown me her true colors and that I mean absolutely shit to her. She knows I’ve been on the edge and moments like this have set me off ready to end it all. For my daughters sake I need to give up on this relationship and realize that I’m worth so much more and yes I did wrong to warrant the end of my relationship but I am not responsible for how my ex responds to that hurt. I am human and made mistakes but I feel great remorse and have been taking steps to grow and become a better person. I accept responsibility for my actions and have held myself accountable. I’m very self aware and I do not deserve to be treated this way. I am worthy of love, and deserve so much more. I’m moving on. Though my heart aches I can’t allow myself to go back to her. Even if she decides to come back I won’t let her in. I need to hold strong for myself and for my daughter.