Feeling a little down. I figured this whole relationship felt like in some way she did want to be back with her Ex but she knew it wasn't the right choice. Don't get me wrong, this relationship was a living hell. She was a heroin/meth addict, cheated a ton, no job, tons of fines and potential jail time upcomming. She did get sober at the end and was on the right track but right when I broke it off with her she broke her sobriety and is now on the run.

Look, it seems terrible I know, walking red flag. I knew this though for awhile and was navigating through all the shit with a clear head. The cheating always stung a bit and the drug use drove me nuts but when I finally broke it off and saw her go back to her Ex almost immediately (mind you she was homeless with no job and just relapsed) it kinda stung. I know their sexual chemistry is out of this world compared to what we had, he's bi and polyamorous and just a straight up freak. She's the same way, tried to turn me out but never could but was working to make our monogamous relationship work.

I think though that their relationship will work well cause they're both also sex addicts to some extent (sex at least once a day and tons of meetups with other men). But I think it's also destined to fail as he's an addict as well (meth). Again, I think the hurt just comes from how good she was doing with me but then still craved that wild sex and drugs lifestyle. I'm pretty much over it at this point, just having a few hiccups along the way, it's only really been about a week. Expect to be completely moved on hopefully within the next two weeks. I'm also full blown no contact at this point and she hasn't reached back out (usually calls from a block number).