Today, I got on to one of my ex's friends Facebook and started looking at posts. I noticed that my ex liked all the inspirational quotes about moving on and how you're the better person. There was one particular post about ex's talking bad about them that she liked. It hurt my feelings because I would never talk badly about her. I know that I have a lot of work to do on myself, I'm by no means perfect. I also know that I had a lot of big emotions that were triggered by her actions. I caught her talking to another man about a year and a half before, and I had trust issues since. We never really addressed this issue, at least not to the extent that was needed. Fast forward to 4 months ago. I looked in her phone and saw porn from the same guy. Big emotions came out, and the trust I built was gone again. She swore that Facebook glitched and unblocked him. From that point on, I was more needy and was really struggling mentally. I feel like I shut down, and our lack of communication broke the relationship. Sorry for the rant. I'm basically upset because I looked. I miss her. She's clearly thinking about me if she's liking all of these posts. I wish she could see the work I'm doing to fix my problems. I wish she would have talked to me about leaving, instead of doing it while I was at work. Had I known I was on the brink of losing her for good, I feel like I could have done something differently. If I could have just one more chance the I would make sure I handled things differently. I should have never looked at the fb. I'm just more hurt now. 😞

(Edit) after calming down. I finally remembered which one got me emotional. She liked a post that said "I'll never believe shes just a friend again" That's what she told me about the guy she was texting and tried to normalize a friend sending porn and talking about what they'd do to each other. It hurt because I'd never do that to her. I don't understand why she did. Just wish I could talk.