Since me and my ex broke up (been together for 4 years 24f/31m) I've been feeling very suicidal and I want to cut my wrists so badly. I've been having thoughts of self harm too. I can't get these thoughts out of my head and I'm beginning to think after one month of pure hell that I'll never feel better and he was my first relationship too. He loves someone else now, treats her way better than he would ever treat me. I mean gifts, does bdms stuff with her, spends lots of time with her. He gave her all the things I've practically BEGGED him for. I don't know how much more I can take - his number is blocked but he drunk calls me and leaves voice mails when him and her get into it. At this point I have no fucking peace unless I'm sleeping. Makes me never want to wake up ever again