we were together for 2 years and friends before we dated. 2021 and 2022 were the most magical years of my life and now the future we had planned together won’t happen. all i think about every second of everyday is her and that i want to talk to her. i reached out a week ago to get some clarity/closure and it actually made me feel a lot better for about 3 days. things went right back to misery again after that and each day is agony, i want to end my life most days. i find almost no comfort being with friends or family. the only thing keeping me here is the hope that eventually we can work things out or maybe at least be friends that talk often. she moved to another state from me and we are not from the same state (we met in college) so there is a high possibility we will never see each other again. how i view her is tainted because how could i trust someone that is causing me this much agony. this has been the longest 2 weeks of my life and i don’t know how much more i can handle. i wish i could just slit my wrist most days but i am too scared. all my existence is at this point is just doing things to “distract me” that don’t even help hardly at all. i find no joy in anything i used to.