My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We like to play with other couples and he recently introduced me to a couple friend of his and we really hit it off. Ever since we have been dirty talking to each other about playing with them and creating these really hot fantasies and trying to find dates for all of us to have a night together. He even asked me if it was okay for all of us to play without condoms if we got tested and I said yes. We don’t play without protection with anyone so the experience felt kind of special, ya know?

Through our conversations recently, I directly asked and found out he actually played with this couple, in the exact same fashion, with his ex. In our previous conversations about playing with this couple, he never said he played with them “with her” and always couched the conversation like he played with them in MFM format. But, he told me straight up when I asked about her involvement. So part of me feels like he was hiding it previously or delaying the inevitable or something. He said it wasn’t his story to tell about whether or not she was there.

Something similar happened earlier in our relationship when I went to play with a couple friend of his, without him, to fulfill a fantasy of all of ours. But while I was there, I found out he also played with them with his ex and didn’t tell me. I was super caught off guard and hurt. We talked about it and I said information like that is very important to me and he understood but it was awhile ago so maybe he didn’t think about it in this context. But it just feels like her privacy or there previous relationship is more important than my emotional safety and our current relationship.

Anyway, I’m upset about all this and I feel like my/our special connection with that couple has been ripped away from me and I’m struggling to process it whether or not I can get to a place where I am comfortable being intimate with them. I’ve asked him that we need to work on a way where I can get the information I need while he can respect her privacy but obviously my trust is a bit rattled too.

Looking for advice on how to process whether or not to be intimate with them and also anyones personal thoughts on the whole situation.

TIA!