I'm not really sure if anyone will be able to give any advice here, but just seeing if anyone has any thoughts as I navigate this. For context, my partner and I opened up in March, and went to poly in October. She has had a few partners, current dating one of them, I haven't really other than a couple first dates here or there that didn't really go anywhere other than a goodbye kiss. I know this is pretty normal for a lot of guys, especially in more rural areas, that's fine.

But here's the thing: Even when I do find people, I'm really struggling to actually be interested in anyone other than my NP. I had been chatting with and had a decent connection to this girl who lives in the closest major city to me, about 2 hours away, and when we started making plans to get together, I couldn't stop thinking that I'd have more fun with my NP if I just stayed home, so I did. We played board games, had a great dinner, I'm happy I didn't go now.

I had this other woman, incredibly attractive, really just looking for sex, but aggressively coming on to me and I just felt myself being really uninterested. The connection I have with my NP is better after 9 years, I haven't gotten bored of sex with her, we still try new things, I just couldn't see myself enjoying a night with this other woman anywhere near as much. Wound up cancelling, and am happy I did.

These 2 experiences are really making me lost interest in trying for anything and just sort of not bothering with all of this. Has anyone else been through a similar experience? How did you move forward?