My wife and I have been married over 5 years now and have been together for longer. We've done MFMF swinging in the last year to great success. Recently we've decided that threesomes and potentially solo adventures in the right circumstances should be on the table.

We're using feeld and my wife is getting tons of attention and in her mind she envisions a platonic date with a solo male or female before bringing them back home where I would be for the threesome. I feel like the better option is to have more of a group hang/date dynamic where the 3 of us go out then decide to come back together.

How do these things generally go? Should she be looping me in on a group chat with the person on feeld for our potential threesome? I don't want to feel like I'm controlling her by telling her she needs to include me on a group chat or on the date, some of this may be my insecurities jumping into this new world. Either way could work but I feel like I'd be almost a third wheel coming into a threesome with someone I potentially haven't met yet, particularly not even chatted with. Obviously her envisioning of the situation is different if we already know the person so I'm really asking for the initial encounter.