I've been working on this for a month now and it gives me such horrible anxiety that I had to write it in sections. I'm just looking for some input on the situation whatever it may be. So here goes.. I've been with my girl for 15 years, we're not married but we've lived together for 14 years never separated no cheating drama. We have been swinging for about a decade with no problems at all with full swaps and everything but no dating and no solo. She had a guy we used to swing with that we also worked with and I never minded her talking to him or hang out. We haven't seen anyone in over 5 years but recently I've got the idea for her to find a guy to have a little fun with this the season ya know?! But she happened to find a CO worker which I know I know is top of the messy list but I've been desperate for excitement so I agreed for her to proposition dude for a threesome and do a little flirting. Here's where it gets ducked.. she did proposition him after a little hands on flirting no big deal at all in any way. However when I asked her if anything else happened she hesitated for a half second which triggered my spicy spider senses so I bugged her phone and found out she kissed him in the break room and didn't tell me about it. I had to sneak it out of her using shady ass snooping which has now triggered horrible emotional trauma and I'm salty AF about it. And somehow I'm to blame. So Merry Christmas to me right? Where do I go and do you consider that cheating? It's so so so... Just ducked, ducked up... I'm just trying to give her something special and all I needed was honesty, am I in the wrong here? Thank you