So my wife (40) and I (37) have been swinging for almost a year, but with a clear view that we are probably more on the open relationship end of ENM. We have both played separately with people in clubs, as well as playing together both in and out of clubs.

For her, she is very independent and really doesn’t have any worries at all about our lifestyle and would happily give me free rein to explore. I’m not as emotionally secure as she is in that respect and would describe myself as a little more anxiously attached. So with that in mind we have been working through therapy and we have been very careful to have frequent check ins about where we are emotionally and what we need from each other and ourselves in terms of being able to self soothe and co-regulate. I’m also a little bit on the ‘tism and so working things through with analogies and metaphor really helps me. Well I recently came up with one and I love it.

We both have our favourite flavour of crisps (or chips if you’re American) and we love that flavour more than any other. However sometimes it is really nice to be able to indulge in other flavours, brands and styles of crisp. It doesn’t mean that you like your favourite any less, but just that you want to sample the varieties on offer. And sometimes… you want a multipack or a share pack as well. 😁

This has really helped me over the past week to finally slot some of those anxious thoughts into place and deal with them in a sensible and self-soothing way.

So what metaphors or analogies do you have for your own lifestyles and how do they help you!?