I (28F) have been with my husband (29M) for almost 8 years. We decided to try out ENM earlier this year (for mostly when we are apart, which happens when I'm traveling for work or he's at a festival without me). When we decided to be ENM (his idea) I said I wanted to establish some rules/ boundaries. He did not have any he wanted to implement, but I felt it was important that I always feel prioritized as his primary partner. He does not like to dance with me at music festivals- he says he does not like to dance. When we first met we used to but that was years ago. I said I don't think its fair if he dances with someone extensively at a music festival when he doesn't dance with me (and it is something I often ask for). He has had sex with other people and I have been okay with it, not gotten upset.
He recently told me he danced with someone at a music festival and I feel very hurt. It's not that he danced with them, but more so it's something I often ask for and get turned down. He thinks he should be able to do whatever he wants a love freely. He makes it feel like I'm trying to be controlling. I think I'm setting reasonable boundaries that should be respected.