Quick backstory. Im in an open marriage (M/F late 30s) we both have the option to be open with others although my husband choses not to by his own volition. We are also doing the DADT method, also by his choice. We have rules and boundaries that I've adhered to with no problem, one of which is condoms are to be used with all other partners.

Now, I will shortly be getting my lady tubes tied AND I'm on an IUD so any chance of getting pregnant would be a literal miracle. I've been tested as has one of my FWB that I see a few times a month. Clean on all accounts.

I would like to request that for this particular partner that I don't need to use a condom any more if he is tested and doesn't have partners between my visits and/or they use a condom if he has a hook up. All the safety precautions in place.

I WILL be speaking with my husband after I hear from surgery and things return to normal, but I was curious if anyone has had this discussion before (particularly if you are DADT) what method did you use to go about it? Any particular way you phrased or approached it?

Any tips are appreciated. Thanks.